Nightmare Duet
by Buffy2204
Summary: Sharing didn't come easy to Colonel Jack O'Neill at the best of times....THIS was just ridiculous! Set in late Season 7 so Pete's around. SJ as always. Ratings change cus on minor swearing soz!
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and all its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions and Gekko Productions. This Fanfiction is for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement intended. Go on, just rub it in our faces. Making us write disclaimers just to remind us of what we can't have. Meanies. _

_Heya guys! Back with a new story. Hope you enjoy it, I know I had fun writing this chapter._

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"Here we are on P3X-31niner and might I just say what a beautifully _dull_ planet this is already turning out to be. If you look to your left, you will notice the rather fetching color green, and if you turn to your right, you will see a similar, but not quite the same, shade of green. I can feel the excitement building for this mission, folks. Can you just _feel_ the tension? The nervous apprehension? No? Thank God, for a moment there I thought I was losing my touch-"

"Sir?" Carter interrupted finally. Jack looked up from studying his boots while he walked; after all they were the most interesting things to look at on this planet…except Carter. However, the Colonel thought it wise to limit the viewing time on that one.

"Yeah?" he asked grumpily. It wasn't that he was particularly annoyed with anything and especially not with Sam. He just really didn't want to be there.

He was bored.

He was tired.

But most of all, he was itchy.

Right in the middle of his back.

You know that place where you can't reach no matter how much you distort your body or make a fool of yourself trying. It was untouchable and really, _really _frustrating.

"Wasn't an unusually long introduction to the planet, Jack?" Daniel asked, "Because I can't remember a time _before_ you started that speech,"

"Oh, ha, ha, very funny, Daniel," Jack said sarcastically, "Go and… play with your rocks."

"No rocks, Jack," Daniel said sadly. His stature visibly drooped enough to make his glasses slip further down his nose.

"No rocks?" Jack asked with mock surprise.

"No," Daniel was sulking.

"Not even a settlement?"

"No." Oh, he was definitely pouting now. It was a sorry sight to see. Really depressing. "Don't pretend you care," Daniel said angrily.

Jack frowned and considered showing some sympathy then reconsidered. "Okay, I won't," he said happily and took the lead.

The planet was fairly cool. It was the evening and the sun was very low on the horizon, casting an orange glow over the meadow they found themselves in.

"Okay kids, let's head for the cover of those trees and set up camp for the night," Jack ordered, "We're not going to get anything done in this light."

It was a beautiful time of day to take a walk. The sun gave the grass a sparkle in the evening dew and the breeze ruffled their hair and clothing. Sam looked especially angelic in the evening sun, making her hair and eyes shine and twinkle. She looked beautiful.

Pete was a lucky guy.

Boy was that a smack in the face. He had told her to get a life but Pete was just…unexpected. He meant…_knitting_…or something…

"Hey Jack! Look!" Well, Daniel had definitely perked up. Jack turned his head away from Sam to see what had got the archaeologist so excited and to his dismay was greeted with the sight of a tent.

_That_ wasn't there before…was it?

However, this was no normal tent. This _tiny _tent was purple. Beads were scattered over its surface and pink smoke billowed from a hole in the roof. It looked like a phoney mystic's tent. He half expected there to be a sign above the door: 'Come and have your future told by Madame Mystique, only five bucks a turn!'.

"Jack!" Daniel said reproachfully.

Oops, did he say that out loud?

"We should check it out, sir," Carter said cautiously, eyeing the pink smoke as if it had mortally offended her.

"Yes…" Jack sighed, "I suppose." He himself wasn't quite sure of this lodging. It was too…puffy.

Oh, well. There went his dream of a quiet mission.

"Daniel!" he yelled as the younger man approached the door. Jack could tell from the innocent look on Daniel's face that he was ready to just walk in and throw caution to the wind. That guy was going to give Jack a heart attack one day.

"What?" Daniel asked, bemused.

"You worry him, child," A frail and beaten voice sounded from the cloaked doorway of the fragrant tent. Candlelight flickered from inside, casting an iridescent silhouette on the thin veil that acted as the door. A hunched figure with bony fingers slowly parted the thin curtains with shaking hands and peered at them all over crudely made spectacles.

The old woman smiled, her grin pushing at her sunken cheeks and squeezing shut already half-closed eyes. Wrinkles cracked the skin around her eyes and nose, wizening her appearance and deepening her laughter lines. She was leaning heavily on a gnarled branch that Jack assumed was her walking stick and fine clothes and silks littered with charms and beads flowed over her aged body.

"Good evening, ma'am," Jack greeted her with a touch of his cap.

"Good evening, sir," she responded properly with a laugh and a small curtsey. "Come, come! In! Out of the cold!" she barked her orders and waved a ring encrusted hand at them. "Don't let the food go to waste now!" she called over her shoulder as she shuffled back into the small tent.

SG-1 looked at each other in confusion then eyed the tiny tent. It was hardly big enough to hold the small woman let alone SG-1…including Teal'c

"_All_ of us?" Jack asked nobody in particular. Teal'c just raised his right eyebrow, Daniel raised his left, Carter did both and even added a sigh while Jack waggled his own in mystification. It was the SG-1 eyebrow dance of perplexity. Jack cleared his throat and gave a pointed look at Carter. "Ladies first," he waved his hand out towards the tent and gestured for her to go in front.

She narrowed her eyes at him but did what he said and stomped off towards the opening of the minuscule tent, mumbling angrily under her breath. She crouched down so she was about the same height as the old woman and pulled back the curtain with the tip of her P-90.

"Oh, wow," she breathed and went straight in.

"Well, are the rest of you coming? Or will I have to feed all this food to this lovely lady! Hmm?" Came the old woman's shout.

"It's okay, sir," Sam called from inside, "Plenty of room,"

The three men of SG-1 all shared another look until Daniel shrugged his shoulders and took a step towards the door and went inside. Teal'c followed and left Jack on his own outside, wondering how something so small could fit four of them in. Widening his eyes and breathing out slowly he pulled back the veil in front of the doorway and was immediately hit with the most sickly sweet smell he'd ever encountered. It invaded his nose and filled his head until he felt his eyes water.

He blinked several times as he adjusted to the smell and then peered around a very, _very_ large room.

"Holy crap, it's a Tardis!"

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_I know everyone says this but I NEED reveiws. I really do want to improve the quality of my writing so it is more enjoyable for everyone but I can't do that unless you guys tell me what you think. Even if it's bad. I can take it. Really._


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: see first chapter._

_Heya guys, thanks for the response to the first chapter, it was great.** BookWorm37**: Everyone knows what a Tardis is and if they don't they have obviously had a deprived childhood. **Rahainia:** You want Pete bashing? hmm let me think about that one...OK! I could do that! Not right now though. Later. I promise. _

_Thanks for everyone's reveiws, they're great. Anyway, on with the show!_

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The walls of the room literally loomed over them, pillars of gold and thick, velvety curtains hung around the great hall. The high ceiling was clouded over and Jack could barely see the top thanks to the vast quantity of pink smoke wafting from the grand fireplace at the far side of the hall.

Daniel was already skipping around the room, looking at anything he could touch, vases, statues, books, ornaments, herbs and something that looked suspiciously like a crystal ball. The younger man was babbling at Jack incoherently, streaming off a litany of facts and dates and happenings, most of which Jack couldn't care less about. Teal'c was obediently listening to the archaeologist and was nodding in the appropriate places, raising his eyebrow at confusing statements and basically standing nonchalantly with his hands behind his back as if nothing could faze him. Not even walking into a room he expected to be a hundred times smaller.

Jack started to make his way across into the middle of the great room to where a large, mahogany dining table sat waiting with plates and plates of grand food with silver cutlery and clean ceramic dishes placed neatly in front of what Jack could only describe as thrones. They were too big to be normal dining chairs with intricate patterns of which Daniel was already describing and mumbling to himself about. He had even got out his sketchbook and starting rubbing some of them onto the paper.

With his heels scuffing the polished marble surface, Jack halted at his 2IC's side; she was in a polite conversation with the mysterious old woman.

"Carter?" Jack asked, perplexed, as he gave one more glance around the place and was startled to find big bay windows on one wall. They were _HUGE_, covered in curtains and silks so hardly any light came through.

"Yes, sir!" she said, turning to him with a grin beaming on her face. She was obviously happy about the fact they had just walked into the twilight zone.

"What just happened?" he said while rubbing his forehead and taking off his cap and sunglasses.

"I have no idea," she grinned. She seemed strangely happy about that fact; however, it made Jack slightly on edge. Sam smiled warmly at his unease. "I'm hoping to find out though, sir."

Her eyes sparkled at him in that familiar way, her excitement shone through every time she was met with an impossible problem or piece of technology. He smiled at her and turned towards the old woman.

"Hi, I'm Jack," he said.

"I know! I know!" her voice crackled as she waved her hand at him as if she were swatting a particularly annoying fly.

"You do?" Jack asked, confused.

"I told her, sir," Sam explained.

Jack mouthed 'Oh' at her then scrunched his eyebrows up at the old woman's impatience.

"Sit! Sit!" she screamed at them, "Eat!" Bracelets jangled and rings clattered as she gestured at the four thrones around the huge table.

Jack looked around at the rest of his team and nodded at them to do so. This woman didn't seem so bad and the food looked…edible. Jack took a seat at one side of the extensive table and Carter sat next to him, which actually meant she was a good two meters away. Daniel sat opposite…not that Jack could see him past the large bowl of fruit and a platter that held a brown, sizzling animal that looked vaguely like a boar of some kind. Teal'c placed himself at the end of the table and the woman made herself comfortable at the head on a raised chair so that she was watching over all of them.

"Eat!" she commanded again, with wide eyes and spitting mouth.

"Let's get to know each other a bit more first, shall we?" Jack said cheerfully.

The woman's eyes narrowed as she regarded him sternly then proceeded to fill her own plate with food. She grabbed at anything close to her and signalled the team to do the same.

"I am an old woman, Jack O'Neill," she rasped, "Please, eat my food and humour me while I have the time. If you are worried that I might deceive you by feeding you poisoned food, you are mistaken," she grinned. "If you died, who would I talk to?"

"Can we at least know your name?" he asked as he picked at foods and squinted at things he definitely didn't recognise. He glanced at Carter and pointed at some green mush, silently asking her approval. She just shrugged her shoulders and carried on filling her plate with things that looked vaguely earth-like.

"Of course you can!" The freaky woman yelled through a piece of meat she was holding to her mouth.

SG-1 all started eating carefully, sniffing at everything they ate and checking the color and consistency of the food they held up to their mouth. Jack, Sam and Daniel all had chosen recognisable things but Teal'c was a different story. Jack frowned at Teal'c's mountain of strange foods and sauces, he'd filled two plates and a few of bowls with strange coloured concoctions and fruits then had immediately started to eat his fill. It was strangely hypnotic watching the large man eat without reserve.

Jack managed to tear his eyes off of Teal'c enough to realise that the old woman hadn't answered his question.

"You haven't answered my question."

"Yes I have," she returned.

"No you haven't."

"Have."

"Haven't-"

"Sir!" Carter interrupted before this could go on any longer. The old woman snorted at Jack's guilty face and chuckled at Daniel's smirk.

Jack sighed and closed his eyes for a moment with his head down; when he looked back up, he had a smile firmly in place. "Could you answer it…again?" he asked and at Carter's glare added, "_Please_?"

"Yes, I could," she answered with a rasping giggle. She wiggled in her seat, getting comfortable. She could do this all day.

Jack took a deep breath and caught a glimpse of Daniel's face between two piles of food. The archaeologist was thoroughly enjoying Jack's discomfort and wasn't trying to hide it. The Colonel turned to his subordinate for help but was met with the sight of her failing to hide a smile. Teal'c was still eating.

"What is your name?" Jack asked directly.

"It's a proper noun, what else?"

Jack's head hit the table in despair and he could hear Daniel's laughter from the other side of the food.

"Sometimes, Jack O'Neill, when you ask a question you will not always get the answer you desire. You will have to live with that." the woman smiled warmly and glanced at him over her spectacles.

"It's nice when you do, though," Jack said.

"Even nicer when you've had to work for it," the woman was positively gleaming now. "My name is Sophie,"

"Well, Jack, I think you just learnt a valuable lesson," Daniel smiled, "It took you long enough though."

"I didn't see you trying to help!" Jack said accusingly.

Daniel looked up and scrunched his eyebrows then raised them as he thought of what to say. "Well…she…uh…" he pushed glasses up his nose. "She gave me her name earlier."

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_You should know what to do to get me to write more. I'll give you a hint_. _It's blue or purple, kinda rectangular, you press it, you get this nice clicking sound..._  



	3. Chapter 3

_Ok, next chapter._

_**I feel really bad about not including this in the last chapters but this story was beta'd by SG-Fan and I could not have done this without her constant support. THANKS!**  
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_I'm glad so many of you like Sophie, it's hard creating a character in fanfiction because everyone likes the main characters so much it's hard to let others in, so that really made me happy. **BookWorm37: **1)Good point 2)Thank you 3)Will do 4) I have no idea, ask Sophie. **Niceck:** Ok, ok. Is this gang-up-on-Beth day? No offence with the 'childhood' quip, I'm sure you had a wonderful childhood. A Tardis is a thing from a TV show called 'Doctor Who' the main feature is it's much bigger than how it looks on the outside. (I don't actually watch Doctor Who and I don't find it very appealing but… there you go!) **Unputdownable:** Yeah I'm sorry, I take awhile to get into things but all will become clear……I hope._

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"Silence!" Sophie yelled with a voice that seemed too strong for such a small woman. The members of SG-1 stopped laughing and amiable chatter immediately- the lady who had so kindly let them into her home had such an over-whelming presence that obeying her seemed to come all too naturally.

Jack shifted uncomfortably in his seat; he didn't like obeying his superiors on the best of days, let alone someone he'd just met. Daniel didn't have any problem with trusting the eccentric woman and had happily spoken to her during the meal about her possessions and their significance. Teal'c was silently and comfortably eating and complimenting and adding titbits of information to the conversation. Sam was literally brimming with questions; eyes alight with enthusiasm and frustration when she didn't get the answers she was looking for. So far, Sophie claimed everything she had was 'magic'. Jack had found himself watching the silent struggle for comprehension behind the mask of politeness Sam had put up. That was the difference between him and his 2IC; he wouldn't care or even notice if he had just insulted someone and that was another reason why she was so good for him.

"Come this way!" Sophie ordered, "I have something important to tell you all." Her tone, which had been so cheerful throughout the meal, now darkened. Her smile disappeared and her face smoothed somewhat so it appeared longer and sadder than it actually was.

She took a couple of shaking steps down from her chair and fumbled nervously with the walking stick she kept close to her side at all times. SG-1 stood up cautiously, instantly sensing her change of mood, and stood warily as she made her way to a door none of them had noticed before.

It looked strangely out of place in the grand room; everything was made big in the hall, big windows, big chairs and big tables. This door was small and strangely insignificant. It wasn't covered in veils or curtains and it displayed no pattern in the woodwork.

"I think the decorators missed a spot," Jack quipped. "You should get your money back,"

Sophie smiled long-sufferingly at him as if she were humouring a toddler then led them into the room beyond the plain wooden door.

The room wasn't what you'd call spacious but it fitted Sophie and SG-1 comfortably around a round wooden table. Sophie sat in an old, worn armchair. It wasn't the age of something that Daniel would consider an artefact and its age couldn't match some of the gems she kept in the great hall but it had the air of something well-used and much loved. The edges were frayed and the pattern had long since been worn off the old fabric. The oak that made the arms looked polished and taken care off as it reflected off the light.

There was one simple lamp in the middle of the ceiling and it hung directly over the middle of the table, lighting each of their faces perfectly. Sophie's face had ceased to be sad and instead sported a thoughtful expression, her nose wrinkling under her glasses and her brows knitted together in concentration.

"You don't know me but I know all of you," she started. "I have seen you grow and watched you love and lose precious, precious things." Her eyes found Jack's and his thoughts instantaneously jumped to Charlie without his consent. His heart stung.

Sophie also caught Daniel's; Teal'c's and Sam's attention and Jack heard their thoughts as if they were shouted at him through a speakerphone. _Sha're… Sarah… Drey'auc… Shau'nac… Martouf… Orlin… _

Sam's eyes darkened and she fell into a dark silence. He wanted to reach out and touch her hand, stroke her hair, make her laugh, anything to stop her looking like that.

"You are doing _so well_," Sophie continued, "…and you have done so much for your world and several others… but you are dreadful when it comes to taking care of yourselves."

"How do you know this stuff?" Jack voice didn't come out as strong as he may have wanted it to. The memories of what had passed in the last few years had come so suddenly and without warning that Jack had involuntarily taken a breath along with the rest of SG-1.

"I told you," she smiled sadly, "I have known you for a long time now."

"How-" Daniel started but Sophie held a crooked hand to silence him, rings glinting in the plain light. The old woman took Daniel's hands in her own and held them there, her withered hands contrasting greatly against her smooth, young ones.

"You have many questions to ask, do not waste them on me," She smiled. "Ascension stolen a lot from you," she let go of his hands and placed her palm on his forehead. "But it is not lost and you will find it again,"

Daniel's eyebrows furrowed in puzzlement behind his lenses but a tension had lifted from his shoulders and he looked lighter and happier.

"Teal'c," Sophie turned to the large man. "You still concern yourself about your weakened state since the loss of your symbiote. That is a complete waste of time, if anything, it has made you stronger and your people will taste freedom because of it."

Teal'c gave a solemn but grateful nod towards the old woman.

"You two," the wise woman turned her scrutinising gaze on Jack and Sam as if they were an annoying buzz in her ear. "I don't know what I am going to do with you two." she leaned in and put the lenses of her spectacles in front of her eyes to get a better look at the both of them.

Jack and Sam glanced at each other worriedly and Sam inched closer to Jack for protection, not that she would've noticed herself doing it.

"You have issues," she said simply to them.

"Ya think?" Jack shifted in his chair. He didn't like this one bit. The only thing he felt and knew was wrong with his life was sitting next to him, inching closer as this strange woman addressed them both. As if that wasn't uncomfortable enough, the old woman was smiling knowingly at him for there was no way Sophie had missed Sam's subconscious gesture. Jack had admitted, to himself mostly, what was not permitted by USAF regulations but he had yet to do anything about it. However, he couldn't bring himself to address his feelings with Sam after she seemed so happy with this Pete guy. She had been humming earlier this week, fer cryin' out loud! Now this crazy, whacked out, old woman with no regard for privacy was going to ruin this nice little hole of denial they had dug for themselves. She was going to fill it with dirt and bring it all to the surface. Things like that shouldn't be brought into the open. Suddenly he felt Sophie's eyes were boring into him and he couldn't help but think she was reading every thought he had straight off his face.

Sophie looked back and forth between the two of them for a long time then finally rounded on Sam. "You are wrong," the older woman said angrily, "You are making a mistake."

"What-" Sam said getting up.

"Silence!"

"You can't speak to her like that!" Jack said, jumping up to defend Sam. By now Daniel and Teal'c had also risen to their feet but they were unsure at what had gotten their teammates so angry and stayed back.

Sophie rose to her feet with much more grace than Jack could remember her having. "You are a coward of the worst kind, Jack O'Neill," she said, pointing a bony finger at him, "If you do not see what you are doing, I will _make_ you see!"

Before Jack could respond or answer back, the finger pointed at him retracted into her fist and stole his breathe with it. His hand went up to his throat as he struggled to breathe, taking huge, gasping breaths like a fish out of water.

"Sir!" Sam rushed to side as he fell to his knees. Teal'c rushed at the woman but she pushed him backwards with the wave of her hand, Daniel sped to Teal'c's unconscious form and informed them that he was alive.

As numbness began to spread over Jack's body, Sophie's appearance began to shift and change. She seemed to shrink in height as her body hunched over further, the arm outstretched towards him began to shrivel and shake. Her bones rattled and clicked until her knees gave up and she forced herself down into the chair she had abandoned. The skin around her eyes and jowls sagged and melted, her eyelid drooped over her eyes until there was only room for her black pupils to peer at them.

SG-1 stared, transfixed and unmoving while Jack and Sophie both lost consciousness. The old woman slumped in her favourite chair and the grumpy Colonel collapsed in his Major's arms.


	4. Chapter 4

_Sorry this one is so short, there will be more very soon. I'm so glad I confused so many people, I live to do that. I apologise for any cliffhangers that may occur, people who know me will know that I don't actually realise what a cliffhanger is but I seem to make them a lot. It gets you reveiwing, doesn't it?_

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_I like to think I'm a normal guy. I see so much of the extremities in people from all over the place that I balk at the thought I will ever become so eccentric. No need for it. Quirks make things complicated; peeves just become more obstacles in life. I mean, doesn't life have enough problems? There really isn't any reason to create more. People have this annoying habit of being 'special'. They want to be unique and stand out from the crowd, be noticed. Not for me. No, thank you. That's just a good way of getting shot. I just want to do my job and come home to an average home at night.

My girlfriend, however. That's a different and completely unreal story.

When you meet a person, get sort of serious; you want to meet their family, don't you? Their friends, their co-workers, their boss.

Not their alien adversaries.

I wanted to be part of her life and I'm glad I got to see a glimpse of this part…I suppose. But that whole experience made me think.

Maybe there's a lot more of her life that I haven't got to see yet. Maybe I'm missing so much more than I thought.

But I do know one thing. I, Pete Shanahan, love Samantha Carter, and nothing is going to stand in the way of me being with her for the rest of my life.

OoOoOoOoOoO

Jack woke up suddenly, eyes snapping open then immediately squinting in the harsh light. He had the worst headache and his vision was a little blurry… but he could make out the ceiling. What had happened?

He remembered a planet, a purple tent….a woman, Sophie, and the worst conversation he'd ever had in his life. Oh God. Where was Carter?

He tried to move around but something felt strange, his body was heavy, it wasn't moving the way he liked and he was still lying flat on his back staring at a strange ceiling, which he couldn't recognise. The Tardis tent's ceiling hadn't looked like this and nowhere on the SGC looked like that, it looked too homey…normal, with little flowery patterns shining subtly off of the daylight streaming in through an open window.

Instead of trying to move all the limbs at once like he had before, Jack tried just moving his head around to figure out where he was. He craned his neck slowly to the right and felt his cheek brush against something soft and tickly. He blew the offending object away from his face and registered that it was, in fact, hair. Over the hair, he glanced at the bedside table and focused on the photos on top of them, his vision still hadn't cleared and he was having a hard time making out the specifics of the photos but he was sure that he had never seen them before and he was definitely not in his own bed.

This was bad.

The owner of the hair stirred slightly and mumbled a bit. Jack peeked down, almost afraid of what he would find. And with good reason.

There, across his chest, laid a head of very familiar blonde hair.

This was very bad.

And he couldn't even remember what had happened.

This was terrible.

He gave a huge sigh of relief when he realised that he was still in his pajamas, maybe they hadn't done what he was thinking but sleeping in the same bed was slightly inappropriate for a Commanding officer/ 2IC relationship.

Hang on. These weren't his pajamas. He'd never actually seen them before.

He didn't even _wear_ pajamas.

The rough cotton was rubbing on his chest and arms and having longer legs to what he was used to meant that it felt slightly stuffy.

Okay. First things first. He should probably extract the sleeping Major from his chest.

He picked up the arm that was wrapped around his waist by the wrist and held it at arms length as if it was going to snap up and bite him, then carefully placed it next to her sleeping form. There was something strange about his arm, he felt more than saw as his vision hadn't improved. It felt shorter, clumsier and altogether odd.

Carefully applying pressure to her shoulder so that she rolled over on her own, Jack felt the weight lift from his torso and he quickly jumped out of bed. Too quickly. He misjudged where the ground was going to be and he stumbled over his feet and fell flat on his face.

"Ow!" he yelped and brought his hand up to his face to cover his throbbing nose.

Wait a minute.

Wait just one god damn minute!

This isn't his nose! This felt nothing like his nose, it was all squishy and…_pudgy_. Jack started to push it around and squash it down, point it forward, it definitely wasn't _his _nose. As well as the weird transformation of his nose, bringing his hand so close to his eyes brought to Jack's attention how young and unfamiliar they also looked. Hi pulled at the skin and watched, fascinated, as it sprang back into place. It hadn't done that in a few years.

Something was wrong.

"Pete?"

Something was very, very wrong.


	5. Chapter 5

_I know this still isn't very long but you got to give me credit for getting it to you quickly! I must say I've been astounded by the reviews I've been getting, you guys rock! This chapter may be taking it down a route that you may not have expected but I hope you still embrace it with open arms and minds. :)_**_OhFrazzle_**_I knew I had read it in a book somewhere! I just couldn't think. Harry Potter! Of course! No ideas of mine are original, I'm not smart enough to do that and I watch too much TV.** Nikki: **Potato head? That's a bit harsh don't you think? **BookWorm37:** Sophie says there is no pie and to stop bothering her and to stop calling her, she's getting freaked out. _

_So glad you liked my Jack and Pete idea, I hope I don't disappoint. Enjoy.

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"Pete?" Sam called groggily from up on the bed. Jack heard her shifting around under the covers to look over the side. "Are you all right?" she asked, poking her head over the edge of the bed. Her hair was a mess and her eyes were all sleepy and dark as she rubbed them with the heel of her hand. She looked like this was the first night's sleep she'd had in a while. Jack frowned in concern then realised that he should probably concentrate the fact that this wasn't his frown or his face and not worry that Carter isn't getting enough sleep.

Had he and Pete switched bodies? How was that meant to help their relationship? What kind of weird-ass logic is that? He thought Sophie acted strangely but this is _drug-induced_ kind of logic.

Suddenly, Jack became aware of something worse. Not only could he not control the body anymore but Pete had woken up. Jack could feel another consciousness come to the surface of his/Pete's/_the_ mind as if someone had over-lit a bright white room. Pete was still there. In his body. With Jack. Things could not get crazier if you tried.

Pete shook his head and rubbed his pained nose as he glanced around him with his poor vision. Jack felt his puzzlement surface.

"What am I doing on the floor?" he asked.

This was like the ultimate eavesdropping, it would be really cool spy ware, Jack thought. Hang on, could Pete read his thoughts? Jack started thinking _really_ loud. Well…he did what he thought would be defined as thinking loud.

Silence. Obviously that didn't work. It was either that or there really wasn't much going on in there.

Pete began to lift his body off the floor and peer around in a dozy way, running a hand through his tousled hair. Hmm. Soft. Jack wondered what conditioner he uses.

"I was just about to ask you the same question," Sam grinned at him and propped herself up on her elbow, revealing a very small night top with spaghetti straps.

If Jack could have had his own face his eyes would be wider than saucers, unfortunately all he could do in his current state was become very agitated and uncomfortable. Pete had all the control and it seemed to Jack that he couldn't do anything about it unless Pete decided to sleep and that wasn't going to happen again for anytime soon. The only thing that made this more painful was the fact that Pete would not stop _staring._

Jack tried willing Pete's eyes to move away from that particular area to anywhere else, her face would be nice. Pete's hand reached out touched her bare shoulder then stroked her neck with his short, stubby fingers. Jack could feel her skin beneath Pete's fingers as far as Jack was concerned he could feel everything that was going on but had no control over it.

"Hey gorgeous, how'd you sleep?" Pete asked as he moved in to give her a quick kiss. Jack felt her lips, smelt her smell, tasted her. He'd never been so jealous of Pete before. Jack was struggling to gain control of the body, pushing at Pete's mind, trying to move it backwards so that he could communicate with Sam.

"Oh, fine." Sam answered. Jack knew that to be a blatant lie, there was no way you woke up looking like that after a good night's sleep. Pete seemed to know it too; Jack felt his worry as Pete scanned the bags under Sam's eyes.

"Maybe you should stay here with me today, skip work just this once," Pete smiled at her, "I could think of a few things we could do," he added suggestively.

Uh oh. No. No. Down Petey boy. You've got an uninvited guest in here! Jack started to panic and push away and struggle against Pete's control. As far as Jack was concerned, staying away from Sam right now would be a very good thing. He didn't think she'd appreciate knowing that her CO was present in those kind of…activities when he got out of this mess. _If_ he got out of it. They'd never encountered something like this before. Confusion trickled over Pete's features as Jack fought against him.

"No I couldn't, Pete, one of my friends is still unwell, I can't…" Sam started then stopped at Pete's sudden resistance towards her. He'd taken his hand off her shoulder and moved it towards his forehead. "What's wrong?"

"I dunno, I just got this really bad headache all of a sudden," he said. "I keep getting all these weird thoughts."

"What thoughts?"

Pete shook his head and mentally pushed Jack to the back of his mind as if he was an unwanted memory. Pete's strength over his own mind shocked Jack into staying quiet; it was like his thoughts were paralysed for a second. This wasn't good, what if he never got the chance to communicate where he was to his team?

"Nothing," Pete dismissed. "Are you coming home tonight?"

Sam's face became guilty and she looked down breaking the eye contact she'd had with him. "I'm sorry, Pete, it's going to be another all-nighter," she said sadly.

Jack felt a sudden surge of suspicion bubble in Pete's mind- it was an accusing and unsympathetic emotion and quite frankly it was awful for Jack to observe. Pete hid it well and masked it behind an understanding smile.

"Sure, honey," he said sweetly. "I'll be here all weekend, ok?"

"Thanks, Pete," Sam smiled and gave him a kiss as she got out of bed to get changed.

"It's all right, I'm just glad I get the time I do with you,"

The scepticism was still strong and the distrust was venomous as Pete looked at his girlfriend. Jack couldn't believe how insensitive Pete was being; there was even an undertone of jealousy to all these strong feelings. This guy was being plainly selfish.

Jack scoffed at Pete's soft and sensitive words as Sam walked out of the door.


	6. Chapter 6

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_Thanks for all those lovely reviews. You are all wonderful, wonderful people, don't ever leave. Sorry this took a while to get out, I was having a little problem, its called life. Pesky thing. **BookWorm37:** Sophie says not to talk to her anymore until she's called the lawyers. _

_All of you seem so sympathetic of Jack but what about Pete? Someone's in his body! Or...have all of you lost the capacity to feel anything for Pete:D I must admit I've always felt sorry for Pete on the show but I do like to have someone to beat up in my stories. -evil cackle-_

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_  
Pete let his mask fall as he heard Sam leave the house an hour later and scrunched his eyebrows and let the lines in his forehead deepen and fold. He was angry and hurt. He slammed down a plate and a glass and shoved the toaster onto the side as he grabbed the bread. He was likely to break something if he carried on like this for much longer and frankly Jack didn't care. If he wanted to break something, let him. He'd only have to answer to Sam when she got back and she wouldn't be happy.

Jack had given up trying to get out by now. It was too much work. Every time he got close Pete got worried and confused and just shoved the Colonel back into the recesses of his mind where Jack would rest and try again. However, Jack had stopped attempting a breakout when Sam had left, if he gained control it would only be for a split second and that wouldn't be much use if he wanted to tell anyone who could help him. Instead Jack had resigned himself to amusing himself with Pete's annoyance.

The cop was storming around the kitchen in a fit of rage, whacking things down on the surface as he prepared himself breakfast. Forget about breaking something, this guy was going to hurt himself and that meant he'd hurt Jack too. The older man started thinking about soothing things in the hopes of some of it transferring to Pete. Hockey…Simpsons…dismantling a P-90…reconstructing a P-90. Calm.

"_Go to your happy place, Pete," _Jack said, or at least tried to say seeing as he didn't have control of the mouth.

Pete stopped suddenly and spun around. Eyes wide and wary, Pete went into a defensive stance.

"Hello?" he called. He turned quickly and grabbed a knife from the holder, jumping around as if to surprise some unknown assassin then he yelled suddenly hoping to frighten someone out of a hiding place. He was a jumpy little thing, wasn't he?

Even better than scaring the pants off of Pete was the discovery that he could make himself heard, even if the only person that could hear him was the same person who was currently jumping around corners with a bread knife, making noises that sounded like they came straight out of a bad martial arts movie.

"I must warn you, I'm a cop- I know every move in the book." Pete called as he pounced into the living room and ducked behind the couch. "Come out and I won't press charges!"

Jack wondered how and when he was going to break it to short-stuff that his attacker was actually a guy who happened to share the same body and that hurting Jack would probably hurt himself as well.

Jack wanted to break it to him…later; right now he was having too much fun watching Pete wind himself up.

Pete scanned the area warily then rolled across the floor. Jack assumed he was trying to reach the other couch but he didn't have enough momentum and the guy got stuck halfway there, rocking back and forth like a turtle knocked on its back.

Eventually, Pete realised that it wasn't worth the bother and he got up and just walked to the other piece of furniture.

Jack mentally rolled his eyes at the spectacle, how this guy ever got beyond the first date with Carter, he'd never know.

"_Calm down before you work yourself into a fit," _Jack said tiredly.

"Where are you?" Pete said, waving the knife around while checking behind curtains and doors.

"_Well…"_ That was an interesting question, where exactly was he? In the brain was the best guess but it felt more like he was inhabiting the _whole_ body. _"I'm…here."_

Pete sighed and his frustration reached a new height until even Jack felt a bit agitated as well. "_Who_ are you?" Pete asked.

"_Colonel Jack O'Neill US Air Force and I am currently sharing your body."_ Bluntness and honesty had always worked in the past; Jack didn't see why he should break the habit.

Pete relaxed a bit and put the knife down; Jack couldn't tell if it was from the shock or the fact that he couldn't hurt him if he was _in_ the same body. Pete stood still for a few minutes, staring at nothing in particular then his eyes began to scan around the room. Jack recognised Sam's living room from many team nights and it brought forth a lot of memories. The first team night after they first saved the world was held here. They had gotten back and Sam had seemed so much lighter, friendlier, like she didn't have to work so hard at proving herself anymore. It was the first time any of them had been to her house. It had changed much. There wasn't as much furniture back then and the whole house had seemed much bigger and emptier. Sam had just moved in and the large house was intimidating and lonely, the presence of her friends had greatly increased the warmth of the place.

Pete's gaze rested on a photo on the mantelpiece from not that long ago. It was a picture of a team night shortly after Daniel had descended and had not fully gained all of his memory. Jack had his arm around Daniel's shoulders and the archaeologist looked thoroughly uncomfortable as Sam planted a kiss on his cheek.

"_That's me,"_ Jack said as Pete focused on his face.

"Okay! This isn't funny anymore!" Pete yelled, "Come out and I won't hurt you!"

"_Seriously, if I could come out, I would," _Jack said.

"Stop messing with me!" Pete shouted, "I'm armed!" He picked up the knife again and calmly started tiptoeing around the room. The cop started checking in various hiding places, under couches, behind the TV, in the closet.

"_I'm not in there."_

Pete sighed in frustration and began looking out the windows and in the flowerbeds.

"_I'm definitely not outside."_

"Well, where are you then!" Pete screamed.

"_I'm in here!" _Jack yelled back, _"Here I am!"_

"No, you're not!"

"_Yes, I am!"_

"Not!"

"_Am!"_

"Not!"

"_Am!" _

"Not!"

"_I am!" _Jack said finally, _"And you are just going to have to deal with it!"_

"No, no," Pete started chuckling and waving his hand around at midair. "I'm just having a breakdown- I've been working too hard and I need a holiday. That's all."

"_Let me prove it to you," _Jack offered._ "I seem to be able to tell what you're feeling so, right now, you are feeling a little frustrated-"_

"Of course I'm feeling frustrated, you moron!" Pete screeched.

"_Okay, Shanahan, you are going to have to calm down or we are **not** going to be able to sort this thing out!"_ Jack yelled. _"I don't like this situation any more than you do. I'm starting to miss my own body."_

"What's wrong with my body?" Pete asked with a hurt tone.

"_Oh fer cryin' out loud," _Jack muttered.


	7. Chapter 7

_Right, guys. I'm sorry I have to do this to you but I'm off on holiday for a couple of weeks on Saturday and I can't get to a computer to put up stuff but I promise you this: I will write LOADS and put it all up when I get back. Sound good? Glad to see some of you are feeling sorry for Pete even though some of you are being very unfair to him -**cough- Natters, BookWorm37 -cough- **  
_

_**cinderalla2122:** fugly! what a great word! sorry, that made me laugh XD **Natters:** Spud-boy! -snort- you guys are so funny, maybe you all should write this story. **BookWorm37: **Sophie understands you love pie and your rightious indignation at the lack of pie at the feast, even so, we believe that the letters and the death threats were a bit much and legal action was required.   
_

_Thanks for all the reviews and to my beta SG-Fan, who I don't thank nearly enough. Here is the next chapter! It's extra long to make up for the holiday._

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"_Shanahan?"_

The cop had been silent for a long time now; he was just sitting on the couch, staring into the fireplace, breathing in and out in calm, controlled breaths. The phone had rung a few minutes earlier but Pete had ignored it- he didn't even bat an eyelid at the shrill sound.

Jack sighed and tried to focus on moving a hand, a finger or anything. He understood that Pete had to come to terms with what had happened, but this was taking too long. They were wasting time.

"_Oh Shanahan…"_ Jack called.

Pete's breathing increased in rate for a second, then became controlled again, his gaze flicked briefly from the fireplace to the hand that Jack was trying to move then back again.

"_Did you feel that?" _Jack asked curiously.

Pete began to get angry again then broke off the staring contest he was having with a metal grate, got up, and started pacing.

"Actually, I can't move it," Pete said grumpily, gesturing to the hand that was hanging limply at his side.

The hand started wiggling the fingers and cracking the knuckles.

"_Well, look at that!" _Jack said happily _"I've got control of a hand!" _

"I want it back," Pete said sternly.

"_But I just got it,"_ Jack whined

"It's _my_ hand!"

"_Well as long as I'm in here with you, I think we should learn to **share**, don't you think?"_

"No," Pete said angrily, "Now give it back!"

"_Shanahan!" _Jack yelled, _"If we are going to get out of this, we need to work together! If that means I get a hand then just let it go!" _

"I'm not completely certain that I'm not having a mid-life crisis or some kind of break-down!" Pete yelled, waving his free hand in the air in an agitated manner.

"_We need to get to Sam-"_

"I'm not telling her I'm having a mid-life crisis!" Pete screeched disbelievingly.

"_You are not having a mid-life crisis, fer cryin' out loud!" _Jack shouted and gave Pete a headache. The combined rage and frustration of Pete and Jack caused a searing pain, Pete was upset about the intrusion and Jack was becoming increasingly annoyed with short-stuff's reaction to the absurd that Jack and SG-1 encountered everyday. _'A mid-life crisis'? _That was the worst scenario he could come up with? He wasn't even old enough to have a mid-life crisis!

Too young.

Like Sam.

Who was Jack kidding? Pete could give Sam so much more than he could. Jack was just finishing his life, wrapping up loose ends, she was just starting one, and she needed someone like Pete to spend it with. She needed something normal to keep her grounded. Sophie was wasting her time with this whole thing.

Jack brought Pete's hand up to rub his temple.

"_Hey! I've got an arm!"_ He waved it about to test it and managed to whack Pete in the face.

"Ow!"

"_Ow!"_

"Mind where you're waving that thing!" Pete said, grabbing the wayward arm at the wrist.

"_Come on, we need to get to Sam,"_ Jack reminded him.

"It's not that easy!" Pete said as worry clouded his mind.

"_Yes it is, just pick up the phone!" _Jack argued, _"Need a hand?" _He waved the offending hand Pete's face and the younger man slapped it away.

"What am I going to tell her?" Pete cried, "That I'm hearing voices! No way, pal!" The cop stopped pacing and collapsed on the couch.

"_You're not hearing voices!"_

Pete raised his eyebrows.

"_Well, you are," _Jack agreed, _"But in a very non-nuts kind of way."_

Pete sighed and ran _his_ hand through his hair then closed his eyes.

"_Look all you have to do is tell Sam that I'm in here and she'll sort it out."_

"How can you be so certain that she'll figure it out?" Pete scoffed.

"_Because… It's Sam."_

"I think you have too much faith in her, she's just one person,"

"_And I think you have too little."_

Pete still had his eyes closed and was doing the whole unnatural breathing thing again. He had this little whistling sound coming from his nose from when Jack had damaged it earlier. They hadn't looked in a mirror yet, but Jack was guessing it was probably swollen. Pete seemed to be in a sort of lulled state; Jack could almost hear him counting to ten. Jack just wanted the eyes to open; it was boring being trapped in a body if you had nothing to look at. At least he had an arm to play with.

Jack just had an idea. It was a brilliant idea …also kind of flawed but it was worth a try. Jack reached out the arm while Pete was preoccupied with soothing himself and grabbed the phone off the side. He pressed three on the speed dial before Pete had time to react.

"What are you doing!" Pete screamed, instantly undoing all the hard work he had put in to make himself calm.

"_Calling Sam,"_ Jack said nonchalantly.

"Give it here!" Pete cried, jumping for the phone. The Colonel held the offending piece of technology away from the raving maniac whilst the ringing tone could be heard from the other end. Jack pressed on the speakerphone and waited for Carter to pick up. "Please give it!" Pete wailed as he tried to grab at his own hand- it was like a dog chasing it's own tail, every time Pete went to get it, Jack moved it a little further away.

"Carter," Sam's voice sounded from the speaker.

Pete sealed his mouth shut with wide eyes.

"_Say something!"_ Jack yelled.

Pete shook his head vigorously and Jack whacked him around the head with the handset.

"Ow!"

"Hello?" Sam said again. "Who is this?"

"_I want to get out of this body! Now please say something!"_

"No, because this will all go away with medication!"

"_Ha!"_ Jack chuckled triumphantly.

"Pete?" Sam said with a confused tone.

"Shit!" Pete slapped his hand to his forehead. "Hi…honey," he said nervously towards the extended phone.

"Pete? Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine! Don't worry! There's nothing to see here! Nice weather we're having! Okay, bye now! Love you," Pete whipped his hand up, taking Jack by surprise and hung up the phone then flung it across the room.

There was silence for a while as Pete lay himself down on the couch, his face firmly lodged in between two pillows.

"_You're not that smart, are you?"_

"Shut up."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Sam stared at the phone incredulously for a few moments before hanging up and putting back on holder with a click. She turned to look at her empty lab not even registering the half completed report glowing on her laptop screen. Pete had acted strangely. The thing that made it even more unsettling was the fact that Pete _never_ acted strangely. Pete was anything but. It was part of the reason why he was so appealing to her, he was as normal as you could get, you could set a clock by his daily routine.

She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. She didn't need any more problems. The great urge to make her way down to the infirmary was nagging at the back of her mind again. She would be there right now if Janet hadn't thrown her out minutes previously with orders of sleep and food. It was useless. She had slept! Not the whole night but more than she thought she would. As for food, she just wasn't hungry right now and probably wouldn't be later.

Sam sat down at the lab stool in front of her laptop and tried to concentrate on the document in front of her but her heart wasn't in it. Worrying was stupid, they'd been in worse positions, right? She racked her brains to find a time when they had been in more dire situations and came up empty. They faced death at the hands of the enemy everyday but this was a whole different enemy and a whole different danger. One a gun or explosions couldn't destroy.

Snapping her laptop shut she made up her mind and marched out of her lab, the computer tucked safely under her arm. She knew Daniel was keeping watch but it didn't seem enough. If something changed she would want to be there and not be the third or fourth person to find out.

It was a short trip to the infirmary; Sam seemed to be on automatic as she entered the elevator and punched the button. She hugged her laptop to her stomach and lent against the far wall of the lift. Concern etched her features as she returned to the phone conversation she had with Pete. Why would he call and then not say anything of importance? He had sounded scared but not in any immediate danger. Maybe she should call back after she checked on Jack.

The doors pinged open and all thoughts of Pete slipped from her mind as she made her way down the familiar corridor and into the infirmary. Her breathe caught in her throat as she saw her commanding officer. Tubes and machines surrounded and invaded him, obscuring his face and crowding his bed. He looked so pale and peaceful; you could mistake him for just being asleep. Her heart yearned for the sight of him waking up right now and asking why the hell they were keeping him here.

Daniel was dutifully sitting to one side, his nose in a book he was hardly paying attention to and he glasses halfway down his nose as he peered over them at the occupant of the bed.

"Any change?" Sam asked.

Daniel looked up and pushed his glasses back up towards her face then shook his head. "Janet says I shouldn't let you in here," he said with a smile.

"What Janet doesn't know won't hurt her," she grinned and pulled up another chair. "Where's Teal'c?"

"He's gone to get some food," the archaeologist cleared his throat and went back to reading his book.

Sam exhaled loudly and rubbed her eyes. SG-1 had been like this for the last few days while Jack slept. Whatever Sophie had done had really taken a lot out of her and Jack and neither of them had surfaced from their comatose state. Sam glanced past Jack's bed to the one at the other end of the room where the small woman was hooked up to her own cluster of machines. By the time she had finished whatever she had been doing, she had aged considerably and the strength had been sapped out of her, it had been a mad rush to get them back to the Stargate in time to save them.

Neither of them had improved since then and neither of them seemed to be getting any worse either. Janet had warned them that it was rare that people woke up from these types of comas. The bottom line was that in a month, if they hadn't woken up, they would be considering just pulling the plug.


	8. Chapter 8

_Sorry for the wait and for the fact this is kinda short. There is more already in the works. School is taking precedence this year, I'm afraid so chapters will be coming only once a week but I'm hoping to make them longer and better written._

_I should have said this at the being but Pete knows about the Stargate program and its before Jack is a General._

_Thanks for all the reveiws! Hit the 100 mark! w00t! Thank you SG-Fan for beta'ing and support. _

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"_Are you planning on getting up any time soon? Because you're starting to get a pain in your neck," _Jack informed him.

Pete still kept silent; his feelings were the only thing betraying his thoughts. Jack felt like there was a whole rollercoaster going on in that head that Jack wasn't quite experiencing. One moment Pete was angry, next he was depressed, then he would chuckle quietly to himself and quite frankly it was freaking Jack out. Maybe Pete _was_ losing his mind.

"Ok!" Pete said jumping off the couch. "I have decided I need to tell someone about this!"

"_Excellent!"_ Jack _mentally_ threw a fist in the air because he had relinquished control of the arm earlier in hopes of getting on Pete's good side.

"I have decided _not_ to ignore this!" Pete lifted a finger in the air in triumph and picked up his coat and his keys from the hall table.

"_Good man!"_ This was good. They'd get to the SGC, tell Sam and she'll figure something out. He was going to be tall again!

"I've decided to go home and get an appointment with a shrink!" Pete laughed as he skipped down the porch and into his car.

"_You've decided what!"_

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Mrs Henderson, Sam's next door neighbour, was happily pruning her roses in her old boots and the large straw hat her husband gave her for her birthday that year. It was a nice day and peaceful as most of the neighbourhood were at work or school. A constant breeze flapped at her overalls and the old woman sighed in contentment as she went along with her gardening.

"I've brought you some tea, dear," Mr Henderson climbed down the front steps and shuffled to her side. "Oh my! What do you think got his goat?" The old man pulled himself upright to look over the hedge and his wife followed in suit.

"Give back my leg!" Pete's yell broke the tranquillity of the street at once. The young man was making his way down the driveway, dragging his left leg along behind him.

The old couple exchanged worried glances and silently went back to watching the strange spectacle.

"This is my body and we are going to Denver!" Pete shouted and carried on making slow progress while the wayward foot kept trying to dig its toes into the ground or hook around posts.

"I am not making a mistake, I'd be making a mistake if I listened to you," Pete said. "What moron gets himself stuck in another guy's body!"

The leg came up suddenly and kicked Pete in the butt, causing the man to wobble as he balanced on one foot, one leg out in the air. Pete stopped and thought about the best course of action for a few moments then carried on hopping towards the car. The leg whipped round and kicked out the other ankle and Pete toppled to the ground.

"Oh very mature!" Pete said as he lay on his back. He sighed and started to lift himself up with his arms with his leg sticking out at odd angles making it increasingly difficult to get up until Pete was balanced on his right arm and leg, half-way up.

"Should we help?" Mrs Henderson asked her husband.

"No, no, he's drunk," the man said gruffly "I'll call the police, he's on Miss Carter's lot, see?" He shuffled into his home and towards the phone while his wife kept a disbelieving eye on Pete.

The leg curled round and tripped Pete up again so now he was lying on his face.

"I'm sure that we can come to some kind of agreement," Pete muffled into the grass so that Mrs Henderson had to turn her head and cock her ear to hear properly.

"Well that's just unreasonable, why should I do what you say?" Pete asked the ground.

"_You're_ smarter than _me_!" Pete laughed causing a few ants to scurry away in fear.

He brought his arms around and lifted his face from the ground then propped his chin on his hands.

"Hey! I can be calm when I want to be!" Pete yelled.

"Excuse me, sir," two well polished shoes came into Pete's line of vision. Pete slowly lifted his eyes to look at the cop's face.

"Hi," Pete grinned.

"We've had a complaint from the house down the street," The man ruffled his moustache, rubbed his foot on the back of his leg then nodded his head at the old couple peering over their hedge. Pete smiled nervously and waved at them. "Have you been drinking, sir?"

Pete snapped his attention back towards the police officer and cleared his throat. "No,"

"What are you doing on the ground, sir?"

"Er…gardening?" The Denver cop smiled in what thought was a charming manner but clearly the notebook-flipping-rule-abiding cop wasn't in the least bit amused and the smile quickly flickered and faded away from Pete's face.

The officer squinted his eyes at the man he had previously thought had obviously lost his mind, after all he did just find the guy on his own, on the front lawn, shouting into the ground loud enough to bring worms to the surface.

"Are you on any medication, sir?" he asked.

"No," Pete answered. "But I hope to be."


	9. Chapter 9

_Sorry, forgot. Been a tough week. Thanks for reminding me, whoever it was who reminded me. Can't remember your name. Sorry. Again.  
_

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The officer stood silent for a couple of minutes staring incredulously at the man splayed on the front lawn. In the beginnings, he might add, of what will probably be a very cold, Colorado, winter. The biting wind was already whipping around his face and hands.

The man tapped his tongue against the roof of his mouth for a few moments, making an odd clicking and clocking sound while he thought.

"Is this your house, sir?" he asked through the furry animal on his lip.

Pete twisted his head to inspect his girlfriend's home then craned his neck up towards 'sunglasses and moustache' again.

"Uh no," he answered in a meek voice.

"You have the right to remain silent, anything you say….,"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

The cell door screeched shut in front of Pete's nose. He leaned his head forward against the cold metal bars and closed his eyes. Pete could feel his… 'guest's' annoyance emanating from the back of his mind.

"_Gardening!" _Jack screamed.

"It's all I could think of!" Pete defended himself.

"_But 'gardening'?" _Jack asked, then added for good measure _"Don't end your sentences with prepositions, it makes you look stupid,"_

"I panicked! I don't do well under pressure!" he said "And what do prepositions have to do with _any_ of this!"

"_You're a cop! Pressure is your thing by definition!"_ Jack retorted _"Bad grammar has no excuse,"_

Pete shut up and took a seat on the bench provided for them in the cell. There were three other occupants of the cell; all of them were regarding Pete with wary glances.

Jack thought it was rather unfair of them as they weren't exactly what you'd call 'normal' themselves. One kid looked like he hadn't seen the sun for the past five years, another looked like he hadn't left the seventies yet. He was complete with shaggy beard, head band and the permanent glazed, red-eyed look.

The third was the most terrifying. He was a large man with a beefy chest and tree trunk sized arms. Attired with a purple tank top that didn't even come close to covering the guy's stomach that made it possible to spot a very fetching tummy piercing. The light shined both off the delicate, tiny diamonds and off his cleanly shaven head, illuminating the tattoo directly in the middle of his forehead.

It was a large pink heart no bigger than a golf ball with the word 'MOTHER' written in black capitals across it.

Normally Jack would think that was an unusual place to put a tattoo but a whole galaxy of people who would argue with him. He wondered whether there was a Goa'uld called MOTHER and should he tell the SGC that she had infiltrated Earth. Imagining a whole army of Jaffa with pink hearts on their foreheads, Jack gave a loud snort…out of Pete's nose.

MOTHER's jaffa's head snapped his attention and aimed it directly at Pete's short form. He abandoned the act of pulling thread from his garish tank top and stood, puffing himself out to his full build and height.

"Wha' are ya laughin' a'?" the giant bellowed at him.

"What did you do?" Pete whispered to himself.

"_It's not my fault, you should be more careful of who you lend your nose to!"_ Jack shouted.

"My fault!" Pete shrieked.

"SHU' UP!" 'Shrek' charged at the Jack/ Pete combo.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Sam woke up startled from a troubled nap to be met by a crick in the neck and a bruise on her shoulder from where she was being poked persistently by Daniel.

"You should get some rest," Daniel said.

"You woke me up to say that?" she chuckled. She knew what he meant though. Sleeping in a plastic chair in the infirmary was no place to get some sleep. Daniel just smiled tiredly at her and squeezed her shoulder.

"Go home," he said "SG-1 is on downtime, you shouldn't be here,"

"I know that, Daniel but I can't just leave him like this," she said stealing a glance at her fallen commander.

Daniel nodded and turned to look at his friend. People on base would joke that SG-1 would always end up in the infirmary, that it was inevitable as rain. However, what these people never seemed to realise was that it was hardly a light-hearted matter and it was rarely ever Jack hooked up to the machines. He looked vulnerable. Jack O'Neill never looked vulnerable.

OoOoOoOoOoO

Pete's head hit the concrete floor of the cell before he could even register being punched. He could feel it though burning and pulsing around his jaw. The loud clanging in his head was a dead give away too. He vaguely heard the cell door opening and a scuffle as the guy was restrained before Pete spiralled in to darkness.

"Pete?" Jack called as he lifted Pete's body off the floor. Jack wiped his bloodied nose on Pete's jacket and turned to see MOTHER being handcuffed and shoved off down a corridor.

"Hey crazy!" One of the cops called from the entrance of the cell. Jack rose his eyebrows and darned a 'who me?' expression. "Yeah you. You've got one call," he said and moved to the side to let Jack through.

Jack walked awkwardly out of the cell. He hadn't had much practice with Pete's legs and never under good circumstances and he imagined looked kind of like a demented penguin as he got used to the length and build. The cop who called for him gave Jack and odd look and handed him money for the pay phone.

Jack picked up the receiver and took a moment to get used to seeing Pete's thicker hands. They were so different to his own. He missed his long fingers and angled thumb. As Jack's hands were long and thin, Pete's were short and stumpy. They looked like strong, sturdy hands. Working hands. Jack mother had always said that Jack had fingers fit for musical instruments and working with delicate things. Instead he had chosen to use them for battle and guns. Did Carter prefer Pete's hands to his? Why choose Pete? From what Jack had seen this guy was one disaster after another.

Ignoring pestering thoughts, Jack brought the receiver to Pete's ear and dialled the only number he'd ever memorised.


	10. Chapter 10

_Sorry for the mistakes this chapter isn't beta'd. Hoping I'll get back into a routine and chapters will be out on time. Thanks for your patience._

* * *

"Major Carter?" An airman poked his head nervously around the corner to peer into the infirmary.

"Yes?" Sam said and sat up a bit straighter to be ready to jump into action in case the gate was malfunctioning or something was going to blow up.

"A phone call for you,"

"Who is it?"

"A Pete Shanahan, ma'am,"

Sam sighed and rolled her eyes at Daniel who chuckled. "Tell him I'm busy and I'll call him back later,"

"Yes ma'am," the airman departed quickly and Daniel turned to stare at Sam.

"What?" she asked.

"You're busy?" Daniel asked disbelievingly eyeing the long since discarded laptop and paperwork.

"Very," she said and continued to read her book.

"Um...ma'am?" the airman's head poked around the corner once more. "He's says it's an emergency,"

"What kind of an emergency?" she asked puzzled.

"He's in jail, ma'am,"

Daniel quickly averted his gaze from the conversation and pushed up his glasses to disguise his growing mirth. Sam glared at him and left to follow the airman to the phone.

"Pete, I…" she started when she reached the offending machine.

"Carter! Come and bail me out,"

"Pete?" she asked confused. "Did you just call me 'Carter'?"

"I'm not Pete,"

"You sound a lot like him," Sam was quickly losing patience with the conversation. Of all the times Pete could choose to play a game with her, this was the worst.

"I realise that." He didn't sound too happy about that fact. "Look. I don't know how to break this to you but you've handled worse so here goes……I'm Colonel O'Neill,"

Sam sighed angrily and lent her head against the wall. "Pete, don't joke about these things,"

"I'm not joking, Carter!" he said desperately "I'm here!"

"Jack O'Neill is here. He's in a coma, Pete,"

"I'm in a coma?"

"No! The Colonel's in a coma," she spat into the phone.

"You're telling me after everything we've seen you don't believe that I could jump into your boyfriend's body?"

He had a point. "If you're the Colonel then where's Pete?"

"He's unconscious,"

"You knocked out my boyfriend!" Sam asked appalled.

"I didn't do it! Anyway, Pete asked for it," Jack squeaked then cleared his throat. "Does this mean you believe me?"

"Just stay there, I'm coming to get you," Sam sighed.

"Oh yeah, like I'm going to get far with these legs," Sam chuckled despite herself. "Uh oh,"

"What?" she asked.

"I think Pete's waking up. I better hang up before he does, he didn't want to call you. I've got to go. Thanks for coming. Get here quick. Ok Bye." He hung up before Sam could respond. She was left there with her mouth hanging open.

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"Hey!" the cop said frustrated while tapping his foot feverously and snapping his fingers in front of Pete's squigy nose. "Wake up! We don't have all day," he positioned himself directly in front of the catatonic Pete and waved his arms in front of the shorter man's face. Finally deciding, after ten minutes of trying to get his attention, that maybe the guy needed some help, the cop peered into Pete's unfocused gaze. His eyes were glazed over and the stare shot straight through the cop and into what appeared to be nothing. It registered nothing, it recognised nothing and it certainly didn't respond to anything. The lights were on but nobody seemed to be home.

The cop screwed his brows together in confusion and took Pete by the shoulders and shook him roughly. "Snap out of it," he ordered "Rob!" he called over his shoulder "Come and see this!"

'Rob' strode purposely over to the motionless figure and the irritated cop and took a good look at Pete and his unmoving form. "He's like one of those London guards…the ones with the weird hats… you can do anything to them,"

"Think he'll come out of it?" the cop asked worriedly.

"Yeah, he just needs to sort out an inner conflict,"

"What?"

"Well you see, Phil," said Rob with an all-knowing and superior look "When one goes into this kind of shock its usually the result of some traumatic or confusing conflict within themselves,"

"Ooooh," Phil said with an understanding nod but really he understood as much as flea would when given the same speech. "I thought it was drugs,"

Rob opened his mouth to give a smart and probably longwinded answer only to have nothing come out. He paused and shut his mouth again. "Could be," he said

However, Rob's first explanation, surprisingly, was much closer to the truth then anyone in the station could have thought. The 'conflict' Rob was talking about took the form of Jack O'Neill and it was going something like this:

"_We had to call someone, Pete! I don't know any of your friends!" _Jack said grumpily.

"_**I can't believe you took over my body, you son of a…"**_

"_Well it's not like you were using it, you were knocked out by one punch,"_

"_**That guy was HUGE!"**_

"_All I'm saying is, if you'd let me have some control from the beginning you wouldn't have been punched at all,"_

"_**If I let you have control you would have gone and done exactly what you have just done!"**_

"_Carter should know! She can help!"_

"**_Do you always go running to my girlfriend for help?" _**Pete asked icily.

Jack froze briefly at the shock at such an unexpected question and immediately began to get defensive. _"I know her strengths. This kind of stuff is one of them," _he said angrily.

"_**Close, are you?"**_

"_What do you expect? We've worked together on the same team for seven years. You can't not become friends," _Jack growled, not liking where this line of questioning was going.

"**_Side by side, in the face of danger. Every day, blood pumping. Pretty exciting, anything can happen in the heat of the moment," _**Pete answered with his own menacing growl as the words formed through gritted teeth.

Jack fumed, not only at the accusation of his honour but the accusation of Sam's. He could understand Pete being suspicious of him, they hardly knew each other after all but not trusting Carter was insulting.

"_I think we need to focus on the matter at hand instead of making stupid conclusions about something you know nothing about,"_

"**_Why are you so angry? I've got it right, haven't I?" _**Pete carried on. Jack didn't grace him with an answer. He could feel Pete's emotions, it made sense that it could go the other way round. Right now Pete was furious but also kind of triumphant. **_"You're in love with her, aren't you!" _**he yelled.

In love? Strong words from a mouth that knows nothing about them. Is he in love with her? Or is it a yearning for something he can't have? No…. It's a constant feeling that can either make him feel very, very good or very, very guilty. A simple crush wouldn't make him cringe at his inappropriate thought and smile at the little things she does. The quirk of her lips as she tries not to laugh at a joke he's just told. Because to laugh would be improper and would only encourage him to tell more terrible jokes. And yet a small smile is all that he needs to lift his spirits and put a spring in his normally dull step and eventually tell another bad joke to catch that twitch at the side of her mouth that tells him he's been successful in amusing her once again. It's true he does look to her for help and guidance. It used to be just for military or scientific advice but now he looks to her to lighten his mood, to care for him when he's down, to sit with him in the infirmary, eat with him at lunch, joke with him, laugh with him, share looks with him.

"**_She doesn't love you." _**Pete snapped.

"_You're deranged Shanahan! We're friends, nothing more." _ Jack said, then realised something quite odd. _"Who's driving the body?"_

"_**I thought you were!"**_

"_I thought you were!"_

"_**My turn!" **_Pete called.

"_I hardly got any time with it, it's my turn!" _they both started to struggle for control and move themselves out from their stupor. Each of them gaining control of different sections until they were a mess of confusion and tried to walk in opposite directions and collapsed on the floor.

"Oh, well done," said Pete gruffly. He'd obviously gained control of the mouth.

"_Bite me,"_

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	11. Chapter 11

_Extra long chapter for you guys to say thanks for putting up with the late entries for the past couple of weeks. You're all wonderful. Thanks to SG-Fan for the speedy beta that made it possible for this to come out today! Big round of applause for her. I want to hear you guys clapping from England!_

_**BookWorm37:** I hope you're happy. I've gone and put pie in now. **atlantis sg1: **thanks for being such a brilliant alarm clock. Don't hesitate to give me nudges when I forget things. Lord knows, I'll probably do it again. _

_I can't believe you guys think I'm writing in character! You don't know how happy that makes me feel when you say stuff about my writing. Seriously, it's like I'm drugs or something. Do you think getting reviews is dangerous, maybe fanfiction net should put a sign up. 'May be hazardous to your health' I could live with that._

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The pair sat in a cold and detached silence as the perched uncomfortably on a hard, plastic chair positioned against the concrete station wall. Even though there was no noise, Jack had never been so deafened in his life; the things Pete weren't saying were ringing through the quiet like an organ in a large church. Jack couldn't recall a silence more awkward. Wait…yes, he could. He'd had several with Sam. He supposed those didn't feel so bad now, he had gotten used to the glancing looks and shifting of weight in their respective seats. He had become an expert at ignoring all those tell-tale signs.

This silence just seemed worse because it was rather hard to ignore something that was in your own head…or his own head. He was even getting confused as to whose emotions they were. Pete's emotions were coming through as strongly as Jack was feeling them himself. The only thing that was keeping them separate was the undeniable logic that Jack hadn't done anything recently that would make him so angry with _himself_. One mind bared a lot of hate for him and while, arguably, he had felt this for himself in the past, he didn't think his feelings were the one's that were dominating the arena at that particular moment.

Pete was definitely taking this worse than Jack was, which was understandable. Getting the truth shouted in his face, metaphorically speaking, was not the way Jack would like his feelings for Sam to come to light but that was how it had happened. Something told him he should at least be slightly shocked to discover the depth of his feelings and that someone who hardly knew him could see it so easily, however, for some reason, Jack wasn't surprised at all. He'd always known he'd loved Sam. Sure. It was obvious. But, in love? He didn't know whether he should be moved to do something about it or be quite indifferent and let Sam choose for herself. Or dismiss the preposterous idea that Jack O'Neill still had the capacity for love. It was laughable really, considering everything he had lost and been through in these little muddle of years that someone decided would be called a lifetime.

There was an ominous thought, however, that clawed and tugged at the back of his mind that would not leave him alone. Much like a small child pulling on his parent's sleeve in a desperate call for attention. Constantly yanking and stretching and whining ever since Pete uttered the words, "She doesn't love you."

Maybe Pete's right. Maybe she doesn't. Maybe she's moved on. Completely past all those pestering feelings that she may have harboured all those years ago. Maybe she _was_ that unattainable, distant Goddess. Luring the poor, clueless mortal into her heart with secret smiles and crystal stares only to be eventually discarded when she grew older and wiser and saw him for what he really was. A grumpy, old man with bad knees.

As if on cue, the Goddess came drifting through the station doors with that natural confidence and unwavering grace. By some stroke of luck, Jack had somehow managed to procure control of the eyes. What Jack didn't understand was how he hadn't managed to get control of any other facial features. Although, he did suspect he had control of the ears, but without anyway to test that assumption they were of no use to him.

He watched as she talked with the desk sergeant and the plump woman pointed in the direction of the disheartened 'men'. Sam smiled, paid the bail and sauntered over to Pete/Jack, swaying those very feminine hips with each step.

"Her face is higher up, asshole," Pete muttered.

Jack immediately snapped the eyes to look up at Sam's concerned yet annoyed face as she came to stand in front of them.

"Pete?" she asked, slightly unsure.

"Yes," Pete answered. "Who else would it be?"

Sam narrowed her eyes and tilted her head. She didn't like being messed around with more than she didn't like being confused.

"Come on, get up, we'll talk in the car," Sam said; she sighed and made a move to go.

"I can't," Pete said quickly.

"Why not?" she asked, genuinely concerned.

"My leg's gone numb," he replied as he shifted uneasily and indicated to the leg Jack had control of.

"_Gone numb, my ass!" _Jack barked and kicked out the leg just to spite him.

"It looks fine to me," Sam said with a growl. "Just try walking as best as you can and we'll discuss your…_leg_…problem in the car."

"I don't have a problem!" Pete cried with a short, sharp laugh. "You didn't believe that phone call, did you?" Pete threw his head back and gave a large shout of laughter, which would have been fine if Jack hadn't been concentrating on Sam making it so Pete looked very weird trying to laugh _and _look at the irritated woman at the same time. Pete composed himself. "I had to say something to get you away from that stupid base."

Sam looked sternly at Pete for a few minutes, looking betrayed and hurt if not slightly disappointed. She brought her hand to her forehead and rubbed at the skin as though she was trying to wipe away the lines of stress creasing her face. She sniffed and brought herself to look at her boyfriend again with an apologetic smile painted on her face. "I'm sorry, Pete," she said sadly. "You're right, I've been spending too much time there. I'll come home with you now."

"_If you don't tell her I'm in here, you'll be sorry!" _Jack yelled. _"Do you want to spend the rest of your life with me in your head?"_

Pete displayed a sardonic smile and stood up taking back control of the leg with a forceful mental push. After all, it was his body and he had primary control over it. Pete next tried to reclaim his arm and his eyes but only managed his fingers and wrist.

"Thank you," he said to Sam. "I love you,"

"I love you too, Pete," Sam said with a smile.

Jack took comfort in the fact that the smile wasn't the same quality as some of the ones Jack had received but it still hurt to hear the carefree manner that Pete uttered those words. It made Jack jealous as Pete knew it would.

On their way out Jack temporarily averted their gaze from looking where they were going and Pete promptly walked into a post.

"Pete!" Sam started. "Are you okay?" She took Pete's shoulder to steady him and brought her head up and brushed his hair away from his forehead to check for injury.

"I'm fine!" Pete said quickly and over-cheerfully. "I really must look where I'm going," he growled and Jack wondered if that statement was directed at him or not. Probably.

Sam looked flustered and led him out of the station by the hand to a nearby bench over-looking a park. She sat him down and crouched in front of him with a worried look on her face. Jack was quite confused with her forceful behaviour; after all, she would never act this way around him in fear of a reprimand. With Pete, it seemed, things were quite different.

"_I wonder who wears the pants in this relationship."_ Jack sniggered sarcastically. He was massively relieved Sam couldn't hear that comment for she only glare at him and not talk to him until he apologised. Let's face it. Sam could wrap any guy around her little finger. Even her CO.

But Pete didn't know that.

Pete fumed silently while Jack tried not to look directly at Sam. It wasn't that he didn't want to look at her rather that she was very close to Pete's face and, quite frankly, if Jack were to look at her, the proximity would probably give him a heart attack and Pete would surely notice.

"Pete?" she started again, a bit put off that he wasn't looking at her. She let out a frustrated sigh and moved into line of sight only to have Jack flick the eyes away from her. She moved again and the same thing happened. "Pete, look at me!" her patience was running out.

"I'm not a child, Sam," Pete said haughtily "Let's just go home,"

"Why don't you just look at me?" Sam countered.

"I wouldn't know," Pete gritted through his clenched teeth.

Jack decided that this was actually quite a fun game. He could already hear a suspicious tone seeping into Sam's speech, telling him she hadn't believed a word of what Pete had told her about the phone call.

"Look at me," Sam ordered angrily, "I want to talk to you."

Pete became agitated with anger and tried taking back control only to have Jack laugh at him from inside his head.

"_You better tell her, she'll only just get angry…"_

"Pete?" Sam called him. "Pete!"

"What?" Pete snapped.

"Why can't you look at me?"

"Why do you need me to look at you?"

"Pete, just stop being an ass," she said and Jack snorted with laughter. "Jack!" she shouted.

The eyes suddenly focused on her in surprise and delight and Jack was figuratively dancing for joy inside a very pissed off cop.

"Did you just call me 'Jack'?" Pete asked angrily. "Who's Jack?" His tone was accusing now.

Sam only smiled. "You seemed to know perfectly well who Jack was on the phone,"

Pete was stumped; Jack could feel his speechlessness all the way over on his side of the brain.

"_Ha!"_ Jack piped up triumphantly.

"I was just… testing you."

Sam raised one eyebrow in a very Teal'c like fashion. "I can't help until you tell me what's wrong, Pete," she said sternly as she stood up. "You have until the end of the car journey to tell me what's happening or we won't be seeing very much of each other in the near future." Sam reached her hand into the pocket of her jeans and produced the car keys. Pete was starting to sulk at being treated like a child but obediently began to follow his girlfriend her car.

"_Come on! Just tell her! The damage is done! She thinks you're insane. You have nothing to gain from keeping me a secret anymore," _Jack yelled at him.

"You are not getting out of this head," Pete muttered quietly.

"_You can't tell me you **like** having me in here?"_

"No, but as long as you're in _here,_ you're not out _there_ and _**no**where_ near **my** girlfriend,"

"_So, I'm like a prisoner!" _Jack barked, outraged at the audacity of this guy.

Pete smirked but kept silent as he clambered into Sam's car and shut the door. The Major gave Pete an odd look as she started the drive off towards home.

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With the turn of her keys, Sam shut the engine down and stared resolutely at Pete, waiting for something. Pete knew what it was and was even tempted to tell her truth after a whole journey listening to renditions of '9999 bottles of beer on the wall' and 'I am Henry the Eighth, I am' as Jack was determined not to be a submissive prisoner. However, for Sam's sake, Pete would endure. He knew if he let the Colonel go, he'd end up losing Sam and Sam would end up losing her job because the guy was obviously a loon and probably would try something with her. Pete didn't even want to think about it. It was better for everyone that the Colonel is locked up. Even if it meant Pete had to make this sacrifice, it was for Sam, for public safety.

"Pete," Sam said in a warning tone.

"I have been acting strange recently and I'm sorry," Pete murmured sincerely, "I'm going through something that I need you to support me with. It's kind of like a mid-life crisis."

"Pete, you're thirty-five."

"I didn't say it _was_ a mid-life crisis," Pete said with indignation, "I said it was _like_ a mid-life crisis,"

"Well, what is it then?" Sam asked.

"_Constipation," Jack snidely remarked._

"I don't know, I just have a few things about my life I need to deal with," Pete said, ignoring his captive.

"Like what? Maybe I can help?"

"_In-grown toenail, it looks ugly, Sam. You better have a look at it."_

"No!" Pete said quickly. "I just need you to spend more time with me. You're always at work, it's unhealthy," He pulled what he supposed was a puppy dogface at Sam.

"If you just talk to me, maybe I can help you sort through some things?" Sam said, "I'll spend time with you but a friend of mine is very ill at the moment and I need to be there for him."

"_It looks like some other guy is getting all of her attention," _Jack mused. Of course, he knew exactly who that other guy was; he just wanted to ruffle some feathers.

"It seems like you care more for this friend then you do your own boyfriend," Pete said grumpily.

Jack was elated and Sam paused briefly with a thoughtful and clouded expression littering her features then she frowned and regarded Pete sadly.

"You know that's not true, Pete," she said but didn't sound so certain herself.

"_You know it's true, Pete."_

"How do I know that? You never spend any time with me anymore!" Pete said angrily, "I had to pretend to be someone else to even get you down here!"

Sam's eyes flashed in anger at the mention of the phone call. "I never want you to do that again, Pete. That was a cruel thing to do."

"_Yes, how could ever do such a thing? Hang your head in shame."_

"I know, I'm sorry," Pete apologised. "It was stupid but I didn't see any other way of getting you off that base," he lied promptly.

"Let's just go inside and have some lunch," Sam said resignedly as she opened the car door and unbuckled her seat belt.

"Pie?" Jack asked hopefully and was shocked to hear it come out loud. Pete hastily shoved Jack back and gained control of both mouth and eyes again.

Sam turned back to him. "What did you just say?"

"I didn't say anything," Pete said and speedily exited the car.

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_Review! review! I need my fix. o.0  
_


	12. Chapter 12

_Well, the chapter was ready so I thought 'what the hey, let them have it early'. Aren't I kind?_ **_BookWorm37:_**_ Ok there is pie, they are eating pie, Jack is thinking about pie. I don't know how I can incorporate pie more into this story. Are you happy NOW?  
_

* * *

A plate of very appetising looking pie was placed in front of Pete and one just opposite from him as Sam sat down in her place at the table. To be honest, she looked thoroughly fed up with having to stay at home. She had a look of agitation and boredom clearly dominating her features. Jack realised this but Pete, it seemed, either didn't care or didn't notice her mood.

Pete took a large bite of the pie and started happily chewing to himself. For a while Jack decided to shut up and enjoy what little solace the pie brought him. Annoying Pete was tiring work; he would gratefully take this break. For some reason, pie called some sort of truce between the two men. It was short lived, however, as pie didn't seem to have the same effect on Sam as it did Pete and Jack.

"Pete," she started again, "Why did you pretend to be the Colonel this morning?"

Pete stopped chewing and looked at Sam thoughtfully. He was checking for any kind of trick or hint that she knew more than she was letting one. Jack was certain that that was the case. The phone call earlier was too weird for her to ignore… plus Carter wasn't an idiot. Everyone knew that.

In fact, Jack couldn't believe that Pete thought he was going to get away with this. For one thing, Sam was certain to find something odd about Pete's behaviour and while Pete had learnt how to take control over Jack, Jack was still learning how to take control over Pete and the Denver cop couldn't stay awake forever.

Jack waited for Pete's response while urging the man to put another piece of pie in his mouth. The sweet filling was just sitting there bare and left wanting for a tonguey home.

"_Just one more piece, Pete," _Jack pleaded, _"Don't leave it there! Growing cold and lonely." _It really was a waste to start a conversation without finishing that glorious piece of pie.

"I already told you why I did that," Pete said evenly while placing down his fork.

"_Pick that fork back up!" _Jack ordered, _"You will not leave that pie homeless!"_

"What?" Pete asked incredulously.

"What?" Sam narrowed her eyes at him, suspicious.

"Did you say something?" Pete asked to cover up his slip.

"No," Sam said slowly. She went back to eating her own slice of pie while Pete sat looking at the pie thoughtfully.

"_Come on! Eat the pie then you can carry on lying to your heart's desire."_

Pete sighed and picked up the fork again and started shovelling pie down his throat. They sat in an eerie silence, which was unusual as Jack would normally be talking or Sam would be. Jack had decided that pie was a good enough reason to shut up and Pete was trying to stay as quiet as possible. He couldn't see Sam but he could tell that she wasn't acting like herself. When something piqued Sam Carter's curiosity, it was not just let alone- it was prodded and taken apart and analysed.

Or it was observed.

She was observing them; looking for any sign that Pete wasn't being entirely truthful. Looking for any type of clue that would lead to what was really happening.

Jack had decided that pie could wait. He was searching for anything that wasn't being used that would send Carter a signal. Pete's eyes were firmly in the cop's control as were the lips, face and nose. The feet were tapping away a rhythm on the floor and the arm was aiding in the eating of pie. But that was only one arm; the other was left stationary on the table.

Seeing his chance, Jack concentrated on the arm and the hand with all its fingers willing it to come into his control without Pete realising. It was very much like slipping a hand into a sock and making it come alive as the puppet 'Mr Worm'. Not for the first time, Jack wondered how he ever survived his childhood.

The fingers started tingling very slowly then the wrist then it slowly spread towards the elbow and eventually stopped just short of the shoulder. It would have to do, he couldn't raise it in the air but he didn't want to at this moment of time. Pete would only try and stop it.

With the minimal amount of movement he could manage, Jack started forming hand signals they only really used on the field. First off, he opened the hand and waved at her to grab her attention. He couldn't see but he hoped it was enough to get her noticing him. He held up one finger in what he suspected was a gesture of silence. Slowly, but surely, he started spelling out his name with the fingers only stopping when Pete looked up to smile at Sam. Every time Jack was happy to see her quickly avert her gaze away from the forgotten hand.

He repeated his name a couple of times and was about to start communicating the situation when Pete started talking again.

"You seem quiet," he said as he peered apprehensively at Sam who was acting as if she hadn't been watching his hand for the past five minutes.

"I'm worried about my friend," she answered, glancing at the hand again.

Pete just let out a 'harrumph' and moved to put his plate in the dishwasher only to find that he had lost the use of one of his arms. He shook it at the shoulder and gave Sam a nervous glance. She was watching him with an amused smile on her face.

Jack couldn't help but chuckle at her expression.

"It's gone numb," Pete laughed anxiously. "Must have lent on it wrong."

Jack started signing again quickly.

'Get me out of here' he signed, 'he's _so_ boring.'

He was going to say more but Pete quickly grabbed the wayward hand and grinned apprehensively at his girlfriend who was laughing.

"The doctors say it may be terminal," he said quickly.

"I bet it is." Sam replied, not believing a word Pete said. "Why couldn't you just tell me, Pete? I've handled weirder stuff than this, you know," She wasn't even mad; she was actually _giggling_ to herself. The relief of finding Jack completely out-weighed the fact that Pete had been lying to her.

"_No point in hiding it now," _Jack taunted.

"This guy should not be allowed in public!" Pete said defensively "It is my duty to protect the public. And you."

"Pete, Colonel O'Neill is not a criminal!" Sam argued angrily. "You have _no_ right to decide whether or not he should have his own body. Now stop being an ass and let me talk to him," she ordered.

"No!" Pete said stubbornly. "It's _my_ body! If he's going to be staying in here, then I make the rules."

"You're being irrational!"

"_Yeah Pete! Totally irrational!"_

"You can just shut up!" Pete shouted at himself.

"Did you just tell me to shut up!" Sam asked, outraged.

"_Did you just tell her to shut up?"_ Jack echoed to wind him up.

"No! I told _him_ to shut up!" Pete shouted at Sam.

"_She won't take kindly to that."_

"Don't tell him to shut up! Let him speak!" Sam yelled.

"_Told you,"_ Jack said smugly.

"Anything he wants to say can be said through me!" Pete countered.

"_Yeah, right! You'll just twist my words!"_

"Can I trust you not to twist his words?" Sam asked sceptically.

"_No!"_

"Yes," Pete said forcefully to both Jack and Sam.

"All right." Calmly, she sat back down at the table from where she stood up to shout at Pete. She indicated that Pete should resume his place at the table as well. He scrapped the table leg against the floor and sat down with a thump.

"I won't relay his messages until he gives up the hand," Pete negotiated.

"_Hey! I worked hard to get this hand,"_ Jack cried.

"Pete, it's only an arm. You have two, I'm sure you can spare one," Sam said evenly.

"_Thank you!"_

"It's _my_ arm!" Pete whined.

"Pete! Just!-" She stopped and calmed her voice. "Let him have the arm for a while, okay?"

"This sucks," Pete sulked.

"Colonel," she addressed him, ignoring her boyfriend's huffy behaviour. Jack waved happily and Sam grinned, elated to be communicating. Pete just rolled his eyes and looked off into the distance.

"_Hey! Look back at her!"_ Jack said who didn't want a view of Sam's alphabetised bookcase.

"Why?" Pete asked. His was obviously not going to be cooperative.

"_Because I want to see her," _Jack said as if it was the most understandable thing in the world to want to do.

"You don't need to see her to talk to her," Pete muttered.

"Pete, just look at me and stop sulking," Sam ordered, getting the gist of what the conversation was about.

Pete grudgingly turned his attention back to Sam and raised his eyebrows in a 'Well?' expression.

Sam straightened her back and looked directly into Pete's eyes as if she could stare past Pete and into Jack. "Colonel, how did this happen?"

"_I don't know, I was hoping you would figure it out,"_ Jack began, filled with relief that the cop was cooperating.

"He doesn't have a clue," Pete provided.

"It must've been something to do with Sophie," Sam mused. The clogs were clearly turning in her vast mind. "Some kind of hidden technology on her person or in that room?"

"_I didn't see anything like that."_

"He doesn't have a clue," Pete provided again.

"_I didn't say that! Say what I said! Word for word!"_

Pete sighed, "I didn't see anything like that," he corrected and Sam nodded.

"Why would she do _this_?" she asked incredulously.

"To annoy the hell outta me!"/_ "To annoy the hell outta me!" _they shouted at the same time.

"Uh, guys, she has nothing against you two, I don't think." Sam was quiet for a moment. "She's never even met Pete." She pondered for a moment. "Actually, I think she was attempting to help us in some way," Sam let her mind wander back to the conversation. With all the excitement and spectacular lights and surroundings, it was hard to piece together everything. Jack saw the look on her face and tried to help her out.

"_She said we were wrong. She said we were making a mistake,"_ Jack recalled and felt himself becoming very uncomfortable as he remembered his thoughts and feelings at that particular time. They were not something he wanted Pete to hear about.

"She said we were wrong. She said we were making a mistake." Pete's mind was going into over-drive now., trying to think up possible things that they could have done wrong. His curiosity was burning a hole in Jack's mind as Pete attempted to search through Jack's thoughts.

"_Hey! What are you trying to do?"_ Jack asked as his felt Pete's consciousness crept into his own thoughts.

"I wasn't trying to do anything!" Pete backed up a bit.

"_Don't do it again!"_ Jack said in a panicked voice. It would not be a good thing if they started reading each other's thoughts. They would inevitably end up killing each other.

"What's happening?" Sam asked concern; her blue eyes searched Pete's face for answers.

At that moment Jack felt Pete's emotions surface again. It was a decidedly, disgustingly, gooey and warm feeling. Puppy love. _Yuck_.

"_He's trying to invade my thoughts!"_ Jack shouted.

"Nothing," Pete said quickly, "he's just complaining."

"_Tell her what just happened!"_ Jack demanded.

"Nothing of importance," Pete reassured Sam.

"We need to get you back to the SGC," Sam said with absolute certainty. "We need to report this to the General Hammond and have Janet take a look at you."

"Not Janet!"/ _"Not the doc!"_ Both of them were thoroughly confused at each other's outburst.

"She likes you really, Pete. You just met her on a bad day," Sam tried to calm him. "And Colonel, she doesn't _deliberately_ choose the largest needles for you."

"No, she doesn't," / _"Yes she does!"_

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO


	13. Chapter 13

_I realise I didn't actually get anywhere with the story in this chapter so I thought I'd give you two chapters this week. Are you lucky?_

* * *

"You'll never believe what's happened to me, Daniel," Sam said exasperatedly into the mobile phone crushed into the space between her shoulder and her cheek. After a good twenty minutes of arguing with Pete and Jack, she had eventually got Pete to agree to come to the base and for Jack to surrender the arm. Now they were finally on their way towards the base and Pete had lulled into a grumpy silence in the passenger seat, allowing Sam to give Daniel and General Hammond a head's up by ringing them on her cell.

As she spoke into the phone, she glanced at her stressed passenger and rolled her eyes at the childish manner in which he sat; slouched in the car seat, arms crossed high up on his chest and the lower lip firmly stuck out in an expression of extreme sulkiness.

"I don't know, Sam," Daniel replied. "After everything we've seen over the years, I'll believe anything,"

"I've found the Colonel," Sam said bluntly. "He's in Pete's body. They're sharing it."

Silence from the other end of the line.

"I don't believe you."

"Okay, they're not sharing," she conceded, "More like fighting for control."

"Oh, okay," he said happily, "That sounds more like it."

"I'm bringing them straight to the infirmary to be checked out." She frowned at Pete whose hand had been inching towards her radio and asked, "Could you warn General Hammond?"

"Are you sure that's wise, Sam?" Daniel started and then stopped. A moment later, he began to whisper, "Janet's here and she…well…she didn't _warm_ to Pete when they first met."

"That was just a series of misunderstandings," Sam said forcefully. "It could have happened to _anyone_."

"Okay," came Daniel's uncertain reply, "But maybe Dr Warner will be able to see them-"

"Janet will be fine, Daniel," Sam interrupted angrily.

"Okay, okay!" Daniel hastily agreed, "I'm sure it'll be fine."

"It will be."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fi-"

"Daniel!"

"Yes?"

"Goodbye." She hung up the phone and carried on driving towards the mountain in a stony silence.

"_What happened with you and the doc?"_ Jack asked in an amused voice.

"Shut up," Pete said.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

It took a while for the airman at the gate to receive word that the very pissed off guy standing next to Major Carter was, in fact, permitted to enter the base even if he did have a very low clearance level. It was a clearance of sorts after all. The trip down to the infirmary was accompanied by curious glances from staff and SF's and many whispers of 'Who's that?' and 'Is that the boyfriend again?' which were in turn met with piercing stares from both Sam and Pete.

It was as if SG-1 were the only ones who had jobs sometimes. The rest of the base served only to spread rumours and start betting pools. Sam sighed and punched the button on the elevator.

"When we get down there, Pete," Sam started as the elevator door closed, "We will need to speak to Colonel O'Neill."

Pete opened his mouth to protest once again but Carter silence him with the raise of a finger.

"We need his point of view and my boss will not be of trusting of you as I am." Her eyes pleaded with him. Pete harrumphed again and lent on the back wall of the elevator. When it came down to it, he couldn't deny her anything. He was such a doormat.

"_It'll only be for half an hour or so, then I'll give straight back again,"_ Jack said, showing some compassion for the poor guy. It was his body after all and it's not like any of this was his fault.

"Thanks," Pete said gruffly.

Sam eyed Pete warily then took his arm and led him to the infirmary when the doors opened.

Janet was waiting with a look upon her face that was quite unbecoming of a lady. It looked as if a bad smell had wafted its way into the infirmary and was now permanently stuck up her nose. She was almost right. However, the smell came with a Pete attached to it.

"Janet," Pete said politely in greeting.

"Mr Shanahan," Janet growled, "Take a seat." She motioned to a bed to her right and Pete jumped to do whatever she said. The petite doctor glanced at him and went off in search of some rubber gloves, leaving Pete and Sam alone.

They were not alone for more than a few seconds when Daniel came barrelling into the room with Teal'c walking stoically behind him at an unrushed pace.

"Sam," Daniel greeted with a grin. "Pete," he added with a nod in the cop's direction. "What's up?"

Pete looked at Daniel like he had grown an extra head. 'What's up?'? He _had_ to be kidding. What did he think was up? He had a frickin' Air Force Colonel stuck in his head, that's what was up! Pete glanced at Teal'c and was startled to find the large man inspecting him very closely with a determined and penetrating look on his face.

"_Whoa! Teal'c's is giving you the eye. That's scary."_ Jack murmured when he saw the look. _"I should get him to give that look more often- any bad guys would melt after at maximum three seconds of that stare."_

Pete was just about to respond venomously when Janet re-entered the room, snapping the latex gloves menacingly with a look of utter distaste on her normally pretty face. Daniel edged slowly away from the doctor and even Teal'c took a safe step backwards.

"_What did you **do?**"_ Jack asked, sensing Pete's utter fear of the small woman.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

After several minutes and several stabs of a very large needle that neither Pete nor Jack was very happy with, Janet left with a willow of her white coat and a stamp of her large heels.

"_Ow! I feel so abused,"_ Jack muttered as he registered all the aching points where needle met with skin.

"Tell me about it," Pete complained while rubbing those points.

"Tell you about what?" Daniel asked, confused.

"He's talking to the Colonel," Sam explained.

Daniel glanced at Sam uneasily and shifted on his feet at her proclamation. He drew his gaze to the cop sitting uncomfortably on the infirmary cot and gave in a thorough looking over.

"Sam, could I talk to you privately?" Daniel asked as he waved his hand to gesture to the corner of the room.

She looked surprised but nodded. "Yeah, sure."

They walked over away from the bed until they were far enough away not to be overheard. Daniel was about to start talking when he looked around him and noticed something was wrong.

"Teal'c," Daniel called, "I meant you as well," he said sheepishly.

Teal'c nodded at Pete politely and walked over to join Sam and Daniel.

"Sam, are you sure…" Daniel began then stopped to ponder his words. "Are you absolutely certain…" he paused again and pushed his glasses up his nose. "What I'm saying is that…" infuriatingly, he stopped once more and gave Sam a hard look to which she responded in narrowing her eyes and looking at him expectantly. "I know that you and Jack…"

This was when she started to get more than irritated with the archaeologist. Just spit it out!

"Well, we have no proof…"

"Major Carter," Teal'c interrupted, "Are you certain O'Neill inhabits Pete Shanahan's body and not some deception on his part?"

Daniel nodded to show that it was what he meant to say.

Sam looked at them both for a moment, her brows screwed up in confusion. "Why would he be making this up?"

"Well, you've got to admit that recently, you haven't been paying much attention to him," Daniel pointed out.

"This is not a cry for attention, Daniel," Sam assured him. "I've spoken to Colonel O'Neill myself."

"Have you?" Daniel asked. "Are you sure it was him?"

"_Positive_."

Daniel looked apprehensively at Teal'c and the Jaffa raised one eyebrow in response.

"Just ask him, guys." Sam gave a wry smile, "You'll see."

"Ask him what?"

"Ask him something only the Colonel would know- he'll tell Pete and then Pete will tell you the answer," Sam said certainly.

"Okay." The three of them broke apart and returned to Pete's bed where he sat waiting with a reserved and wary expression.

"Uh…" Daniel started, "Jack?"

"He's here," Pete said in exasperated tone. "Unfortunately."

"We're just going to ask questions to make sure it's really 'Jack' in there."

"Who else could it be?" Pete asked anxiously. It was bad enough knowing his had some smartass Colonel stuck in there with him- if it turned out to be something worse, he'd never cope!

"No one," Daniel said hastily, "just making sure."

"_Don't fret, Shanahan, I'm Jack, no one else is here,"_ Jack said in an annoyed tone. He couldn't believe Daniel didn't believe Carter when she told him he was in Pete's head.

"Jack," Daniel began again, "Who is Thor?"

"_Little grey guy, big eyes. Good with technology. Recently got a new body, I hear."_

Pete raised his eyebrows in confusion and repeated what Jack said word for word.

"Okay, that was an easy one," Daniel countered.

Sam rolled her eyes.

"What year did we travel back in time to?"

Pete listened and repeated, "1969."

"Do you like the Tok'ra?"

"No," Pete relayed, "Apart from Carter's dad, who's great. Sometimes."

Daniel smiled conspiratorially, "What color dress did your sister wear when I took her out last Saturday?"

"I don't have a sister and if I did, I wouldn't let you near her." Pete passed on and was puzzled by Sam's giggling and Jack's own amusement at the question.

Daniel thought for a moment and waved Sam's protests off with a 'One more'. He smiled.

"Here's one only _Jack_ would know," Daniel began slowly. "How many books does Sam have on her alphabetised bookshelf…"

Jack smiled. That was easy.

"In her office?" Daniel finished.

Ooooh… hard one…

"That's ridiculous!" Pete burst out, "How would- _why would _anyone know-"

"_One hundred and twelve."_

Pete looked at the three people surround him and cleared his throat. "One hundred and twelve?"

Daniel looked at Sam who nodded solemnly.

"Hey Jack," Daniel said, smiling, "What have you gotten yourself into this time?"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO


	14. Chapter 14

_Well, what can I say? You've all been wonderful. I should be doing schoolwork but I did this instead. So you better appreciate it. This chapter isn't beta'd because it's out early so sorry for all the mistakes. I hope you're able to understand it. :) On with the show._

* * *

General Hammond peered around the briefing room table, taking his time to look at each honest face closely and determine if they were in their right minds. His gaze moved slowly until it rested on Pete. The cop grinned and gave a little wave.

"Colonel O'Neill is in _his_ body?" Hammond asked pointing at Pete as if he was something he just scraped off the bottom of his shoe. He looked to Sam for a scientific and intelligent explanation.

Sam opened her mouth to give such an explanation and only found that she had to close it again "Yes," she said instead.

"Do we know how?" he asked Sam again. This time Sam didn't even try, she looked to Daniel who shrugged and in turn looked to Teal'c who raised an eyebrow. "Don't any of you know?" he asked.

"Well it's possible that Sophie had some kind of technology similar to Machellos in the room or on her person that could have done something like this but without access to Pete I don't see how she could have programmed it to choose him. It's either that of it was a complete coincidence that the Colonel jumped into Pete," Sam offered.

"Didn't anybody see anything that could be something like that?" Hammond asked and sighed loudly again when the whole table shook their head simultaneously, even Pete who was bridging for Jack.

"Does anybody have any other theories?" the General asked.

Daniel cleared his throat "Umm…" he rose his hand and gave a wave "Sophie did mention magic," he said uncertainly.

Sam immediately screwed her face up in revulsion, Teal'c raised the other eyebrow and Janet who had been silently staring daggers at Pete decided to stop and look up she was so opposed to the idea of magic. Hammond just had his mouth hanging open and a look of complete astonishment that after everything Dr Jackson had seen he was now willing to believe in magic.

"_Oh please,"_ Jack said desirably.

Pete silently agreed with him.

"Well, think about it," Daniel said "Pagans used to say that magic was just a technology we had yet to understand and it something to do with harnessing the power of the planet and nature," he looked around at the wide array of expression ranging from utter disgust to 'Has he finally lost it?' looks. "Maybe Sophie has found a way of getting to a stage where she doesn't need machinery to aid her in technology; this would mean that she's far more advanced than the Asguard, even the Nox. Maybe even at the same stage as the Ancients are now,"

"Doctor," Hammond asked Janet. "Is this woman Ancient?"

"No, sir," Janet said simply. "She's just an old woman in need of care, I've seen no evidence of the Ancient gene,"

Hammond swivelled his chair to look at Jackson again and in turn Sam who was sitting right next to him.

"I said she maybe at the same stage…not she is an Ancient," Daniel said sheepishly.

"Ok, pushing aside the magic mumbo jumbo and the how she did it. Did she have any reason why she _would _do this?" the General asked the group of blank faces.

"I believe she was attempting to help us," Teal'c said as he was the only one not an owner of a completely dazed and blank look.

"Help you?" Hammond asked.

"She appeared to have extensive knowledge of our lives and our feelings," Teal'c said.

"That's right," Daniel said as he began to remember what she had told them. "She told me I shouldn't worry about gaining what I'd lost when I ascended." The archaeologist grinned happily "I haven't even thought about it since she said that and I had a dream last night about my memories of an ascended being!"

"Anything important?" Hammond asked about the dream.

"No…but I had one!" Daniel said excitedly.

"I, myself have not been so critical of my strength and abilities since Sophie told me my actions will enable my people to taste freedom," Teal'c said with one of his rare smiles.

"And you both say that this Sophie made you feel this way," Hammond asked anxiously, he didn't want his people being influenced even if it was making them feel better.

"Well she didn't actually make us feel but she started us on the correct line of thought to bring us happiness," Daniel explained seriously.

"What did she say to you, Major Carter?" Hammond asked.

"She didn't really get to saying anything before she did this to Colonel O'Neill," she indicated to Pete.

Frankly, Pete was getting a bit peeved at people looking at him like he was something gross that had crawled it's way into the mountain and was about to tell them what he thought when General Hammond started talking to him.

"We need a direct conversation with Colonel O'Neill now, Mr Shanahan," the General said softly and almost sounded like he thought Pete was worthy of sympathy.

"_Yes!"_ Jack cried but quickly silenced himself when Pete got annoyed again. Frankly, Jack wasn't that excited about having the conversation that was inevitably coming but any type of freedom was a good thing.

Pete grudgingly relaxed himself and spoke. "Come on then, let's get it over with. Half an hour," he reminded them.

Jack, feeling Pete's body relax for the first time all day quickly took over everything. It was like he was slipping into new clothes. It tingled all over as each body part let go of control from Pete then allowed Jack to take control instead. He worked from the feet upwards until only the eyes were left and Jack could see Pete starting to panic as he wildly looked around the room like a scared rabbit.

"Relax, Shanahan," Jack said carefully "The eyes?"

The rest of the room watched in astonishment as Pete slowly closed his eyes and opened them again, a different person looking back at them.

Jack looked at his hands and felt his nose and grimaced as he felt the squidginess of it.

"_What's wrong with my nose?"_ Pete asked indignantly.

"Nothing's wrong with it, Pete," Jack said quickly removing his hands "I'm just not used to it,"

"_Just don't…touch anything,"_ Pete said.

Jack rolled his eyes.

"Uh…sir?" Carter asked. Jack looked at her and was pleased to see a giant smile on her face. One of the ones that could send any spirit soaring with the jets and before he could suppress it and get his feelings under control he felt his heart beat getting faster and his throat become dry. How did she manage to do that to him? Already he could feel the comforting warmth that her presense brought him start from his chest slowly spread out until it touched the tips of his fingers. Or Pete's fingers. Jack quickly snapped out of it and mentally shook himself. It was neither the time, body or place for thoughts like that. He blinked and returned Carter's smile.

"_Just friends, you say?"_ Pete said angrily. At the same moment that Jack got his heart to slow down he could feel Pete's utter hatred and jealously boil from the pits of his stomach. _"I want my body back, give it back now!"_ he screamed at him.

"Hey everybody," Jack said, completely ignoring Pete. "Miss me?"

"So this is Jack now?" Daniel asked curiously.

"Yes Daniel," Jack said grumpily.

"_Let me out!"_ Pete yelled as he tried snatching control off Jack who was now fully stuck the position of handling the body. It wasn't so easy getting control when you were just the voice in the head.

"Say a Jack thing so we know it's you," Daniel replied with a suspicious look on his face as he peered at Pete/Jack over his glasses.

"What do you mean 'say a Jack thing'? I am Jack O'Neill! I'm always saying Jack things," he said tetchily as he battled with Shanahan.

"It's him," Sam said certainly.

"Thank you!" Jack cried.

"How can you tell?" Daniel questioned Sam.

"_Because he's a sneaky, slimy bastard who's trying to steal my girlfriend!" _ Pete yelled for all he was worth giving Jack a very painful headache.

"Because he's not doing 'Pete' things," Sam explained.

Jack clutched his head as Pete carried on shouting and screaming at him. He was almost sad that after all the progress they had made in attempting to get along had just been washed away by one glance from Carter. On the other hand there was another part of Jack that was happy that Pete was getting to see what it was like being on the suppressed side of the brain.

"Colonel O'Neill, are you alright?" Hammond asked.

"Yes sir, Pete just is a- _has_ a headache," Jack smiled as Pete threw off a litany of insults at him.

"Well, we'd like to hear your views on the mission, Colonel," Hammond said cautiously "Do you know of any reason why this woman would put you in this situation?"

"She claimed she was trying to help Carter and I, sir. She seemed to think this was the best way to do it," Jack reported.

"_The best way to help Sam is to keep you away from her!" _Pete shouted. _"She doesn't need someone like you screwing up her life!"_

Jack fell silent at Pete's words and took a glance at Sam who was looking at him with a concerned expression.

"_She's with me now!"_ Pete said forcefully, but no longer yelling. _"Move on,"_

Maybe _this_ was what Sophie wanted him to know.

"What was she trying to do?" Hammond asked confused.

"I don't know, sir," Jack said in a deflated voice "You'd have to ask her,"

"Doctor, is there any change in Sophie's condition?" Hammond asked Janet, who was now looking at Jack very softly, it was a great change to the way she regarded Pete.

"None, sir," she replied "In neither hers nor Colonel O'Neill's body,"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

The next ten minutes found Jack in the infirmary giving himself the once over with a critical eye…literally. Pete had been non-stop with the insults and the assurances that Sam wouldn't care if he just died that he was almost starting to believe the cop. Some things he was sure that Pete was just over-exaggerating but it still got some semblance of a message through to Jack. One that said Pete was angry and he wasn't afraid of showing it.

Pete wasn't quite sure why they were sat back in the infirmary staring Jack's body in a coma. He didn't care to be honest he was just focused on making Jack feel like he was the biggest loser on the planet. If he could achieve this and maybe get his body back in the process, he would be happy.

Jack reached and flicked his own face and watched as he did nothing, no reaction. He then proceeded to poke his arm and give it a little shake.

"Piece of junk," Jack commented above Pete's abuse.

Pete stopped shouting and looked at the motionless body for a moment and silently agreed with Jack. Let's face it, the guy was getting old. How much more could he have left in him. Pete was about to tell Jack this when he realised something. They had been left alone.

"_Where is everybody?"_ Pete asked registering only two guards within a 100 metre radius of them.

"They've gone to discuss what to do about us," Jack said "Don't worry they're just deciding if they should go back to the planet and what people to take,"

"_Why are we here?"_ Pete questioned._ "And why haven't I got my body back? They don't need you anymore,"_

Jack sighed. "We are here because I wanted to see how my body was doing and you haven't got yours back because I don't feel like giving it back," he said happily.

"_You're keeping me in here?"_ Pete said outraged.

"Yep," Jack said with a grin.

"_Like a …a…"_

"Prisoner?"

"_You bastard!"_

"Right back at ya, Shanahan,"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO


End file.
